Blonde Hair Blue Eyes
by eternitys-backpack
Summary: Naruto, Aryan fighting the Nazi system. Gaara confused Japanese Nazi. Love? Yeah right. GaaNaru yaoi WW2 stry
1. The Marchings

Hello!! I wrote this story for Reyn's contest! Yayz!

Disclaimer. I own nothing. Not even Hitler. I'm also not of Hitler or Nazis. This is yaoi, meaning boy+boy, gay love, shonen-ai. Whatever you wanna call it. It's a beautiful thing. Spaz off if you don't like it, not very complicated, eh?

Rated for sexual content, swearing, Hitler….moustaches…me….

K enjoy the prolouge…

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**Prologue**

It had not really bothered him until they started marching. Or until the stupid little insignia on flags. Not really.

Naruto stirred the coffee in circles with his fingers, it wasn't warm enough to burn anyway. He watched the pieces of ice engulf themselves in the liquid. The cold air had been nipping at him for over an hour, but he could care less. He was just pissed his coffee was actually freezing. Freezing! He was waiting to help, waiting for it to start. The morning. This was when the ghastly creatures marched about, demanding diggers to shovel their snow filled roads, stop their lives just to clear the path. Pathetic. He would help. He would always dive in and assist them stealthily blending in with the Jewish men and woman.

The Nazi's thought he was on their side because he was a bloody 'Aryan', he spit at the thought. Curse the hair and eyes he'd been born with, stupid Nazi's all smiled at him like he was their own angelic son. He had gone to the office, their pathetic little rundown of a building, and told them he was Jewish. Unfortunately, he was not. He lacked any paperwork to prove otherwise. Naruto didn't want to be assumed on their side because of his looks, he didn't want to be a Nazi. He hated them, from every fibre in his body he radiated it like no nuclear time bomb could. Luckily, Naruto was about as gay as they came and flat out told the man behind the counter.

"Well, I'm very gay. An outright raging homosexual. What's that get me?"

The homophobe stuttered mutely and plastered a pink triangle on the desk, before dashing away frighteningly fast, not even bothering to deal with the disarrayed papers left behind on the desk. God forbid he _catch_ gayness. Naruto had then scooped up the papers, and walked out of the room with many Nazi paper plans and info.

He wore the triangle when he met with Kiba that afternoon. Kiba was the leader of the underground rebellion in their area. Kiba had laughed as he took the stolen paper plans.

"Mate, I know you're desperately single, but no need to announce yourself to the world." He had chuckled tapping the bloody screaming pink thing flamboyantly.

"But I look so cute, right?" Naruto had said flittingly. Kiba had chuckled, clearly amused by the prospect of Naruto going to work the next day. Of course Naruto was fired on the spot, since then he was careful not to wear the triangle to school. He was bright, and had gotten a scholarship to collage where he was studying archaeology. To lose that would be devastating. Besides the idiot behind the desk at the Nazi beehive had not even copied Naruto's name down before darting away. Gay Germs, you know. The Nazi's knew there was an unlisted, triangle wearing gay somewhere, but not his name.

Naruto was startled from his reminiscing as something bumped into his knee. He lurched forward spilling his ice cold coffee onto the snow and his pants.

"Oy!" He snapped staring up at what ever bumped him. A person stood before him. He had large wide green eyes and red hair and was about a foot taller. His face was a mask of indifference, and he was carrying a barrel of some sort. It was a moment before Naruto noticed the familiar brown uniform. "Fucking Nazi." He mumbled, then flinched expecting to be hit. The taller man blinked and leaned down, picked up the empty cup and placed in back in Naruto's hands helpfully. He then turned and continued to walk, his face still expressionless. Naruto barely had time to glare at his back before an order was sound through the streets. The dig was beginning.

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more coming.


	2. Language Barrier

_**Again. same disclaimers and stuff. i have no beta so tell me about errors so i can fix em. like it? tell me! its for reyn's contest.**_

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_**Language Barrier. **_

The light of the evening danced on the snow as Naruto wondered home. He was partly watching the fading sun, partly reading an assignment over and partly reminiscing. His mind darted from poetic lines to the English language and over to Polish pronunciation. But he seemed to circle around the red head, for some reason, his thoughts appeared to swirl back to the solider repetitively. As if all other thought was pointless. Naruto tried shaking his head in hopes of dislodging him from his brains. He was familiar.

Why?

As he turned towards his apartment building, forehead scrunched in thought, it dawned on him.

"OH! It's the guard outside my building!" He yelped snapping his fingers. Ever since the pink triangle he would purposely wink at Nazi guards, proudly displaying his pinkness. Most would turn pale and look away, obviously sickened, some beat him, some even winked back! Most surprising however was the guard outside his main building, the red head. The pale skin that accentuated his sea foam eyes and the brown hat that desperately tried and failed at muffling his flaming red hair. When Naruto had winked at this boy he simply stared straight back at him. The blank look followed Naruto down the street until he disappeared from sight. Naruto never winked at the frightening boy again. In fact he had not since made eye contact, that is, until this morning.

He glanced up at his building and there he was. The guard. If you asked him why he was so interested in the guard, Naruto could not answer. He, in all of his 22 years, had never met a boy with such a blank face, not angry or anything. Just blank. Like no one taught him how to smile or frown or any sort of expression. Naruto was a man who loved expression, he was over expressive, over emotional, this Nazi bore a foreign concept.

"Good evening!" Naruto said brightly to the guard.

The guard stared back.

"We met this morning. Remember the coffee?" Naruto asked hopefully.

The guard stared back.

"Sir? Hello??" Naurto shuddered. What was with this man. "My name is Naruto Uzumaki! I live in this building? I see you every morning?"

The guard stared back, a look of incomprehension on his face.

"Do you…" A light bulb turned on. "do you speak German? You don't do you?"

The guard stared back.

"Don't worry! I speak a lot of languages! I studied them in school. I'm going to be an archaeologist! I'll find out which one you use!" Naruto rambled happily. A companion that would not interrupt. How liberating. Naruto felt the need to find his language, to speak with him. He could not help imagining how in must feel. Not being able to speak, the things that would build up, the confusion of everyday. Loneliness, Naruto knew about loneliness.

"I go to collage now, I have a scholarship! It's sort of exciting, living a life where you know one day you'll be somewhere else. Any where else really, in Egypt, along the Nile, by the Amazon river, Brazil. Anywhere, y'know?" Naruto blabbed. Then he remembered. And a brick wall slammed down forcefully, almost painfully. Naruto's smile froze on his face, eye's the first to lose their happy glint. He was a Nazi. The enemy. A homophobic racist pig, a consumer, a hater. The source of destruction and pain.

" Good night then, sir." Naruto slowly said, smile fading. He began to walk through the lobby of the apartment building. It was the second slowest, quietest, and most painful walk Naruto would do in his entire life and at the very end, right beside the green painted door with the misconnected hinges, he glanced back.

A glance. That was all it took. Naruto would spend the rest of his life, right up until his last waking moment, as the world's edges faded and lost their colour, Naruto would wonder whether this moment was the best or worst moment of his life. He would wonder if this was the pivotal point, if this was the moment that changed everything. For as his eyes fleetingly scanned the room, they rested on the green across the room. There was the softest and briefest smile on the guards face. It barely counted as a smile really, it easily could have been a facial twitch or a momentary flinch. But it was enough. Enough for Naruto to spend weeks trying to look for the right language.

It was a rainy Tuesday morning. That is pretty much all Naruto could remember about it. He could not remember what he had for breakfast, or if he even had anything. He couldn't remember what shirt he wore or socks but he remembered it was a rainy Tuesday. Naruto had tried every language he spoke fluently and was beginning to think perhaps the boy could not speak at all. Perhaps he was mute or deaf or both. He made a mental note to learn sign language. Today's highly unlikely language; ancient Egyptian. He climbed down the seven flights of stairs briefly pondering what culture had his exceptional height and body structure, pale skin and unique colour combo. None. But something rang a bell, his facial structure. His wide cheek bones and tapering chin. Egyptian had that quality, but so did other cultures. Brazilian? No. The forehead is different.

Naruto swung open the rickety door and glanced up at the doorman with the passive face, anticipation pulsing in his eyes as they turned to Naruto expectantly. After all he was the only tenant to ever greet him.

Japanese.

"Ohayo gozaimasu! Nazi-san" Naruto grinned up at him.

The guard stared back.

Fuck, this sucks. He was so sure. Naruto sighed and pushed open the front door.

"….Ohayo….."

The guard said slowly. Naruto whipped around, bashing his head of the door. "Ow!" he danced around trying to numb the pain and concentrating on his Japanese. He didn't know much but it was worth a shot. He spoke Japanese! He was Japanese!

"Yata!" Naruto danced around holding his head. "Ha, you're Japanese! Japanese! I don't speak Japanese! Yata! Japanese!" Naruto laughed about. The red headed guard blinked, then said some stuff in Japanese. Something about speaking and war. Naruto shook his head.

"Slower! New! Bad speaking!" He pointed to himself and spoke in slow broken Japanese. The stranger nodded.

"Gaara." He said softly making a small discreet gesture to himself.

"Ohayo, Gaara." Naruto beamed, "Naruto." He said tapping himself. "Matte…" Naruto is pretty sure that means wait. He dashed out for two coffees. Japanese. Japanese. "YATA!" He laughed as he entered the small café on the main road.

"Good morning Sakura!" He called to the sole waitress.

"Morning Naruto! Kiba is in the back with Shino. They want to talk to you. I'll make your regular." The pretty pink haired girl said brightly.

"Two today please!" Naruto said brightly. "I have company!"

"Who?" She chuckled. Sakura had been serving him a coffee a day since he started high school right through grad and now his second year of collage. Naruto liked it black, no sugar, no milk. Which was convenient now that is was all Burly Café could afford, coffee beans and water. "Finally find another gay boy who isn't in his early 40's?"

"No! He's not gay, just really handsome and really…" What, a Nazi? "Hetero…" He sighed. She took that differently then it was meant. She took it as a 'woe-is-me-I'm-in-love-with-someone-who-likes-girl's-again' sigh, not a 'oops-I-made-friends-with-a-Nazi-who-is-my-sworn-enemy' kind of sigh.

"Poor Naru. I'll make 'em." She patted his head, which was a few centimetres below her own. Naruto scowled and hurried into the back room.

"Kiba! Is this important? I'm, uh, job hunting." Note to self, never tell an underground rebellion you're spending quality time with the enemy.

"Look, something has happened." Kiba said gravely. Naruto's heart sped up. In times of war, nothing good ever happens, only death and pain "It's bad news."

'_Mister Uzumaki? We have bad news….'_

'_I'm sorry son, we did all we could,'_

'_Naruto….he's gone. I'm so sorry…'_

His breath hitched.

"W-what?" he stuttered.

"Someone stole my watch." Kiba looked gravely about.

Naruto hit him as hard as his spaghetti arms would allow.

"Yeowch! Seriously though. Tonight you're on radio watch. Meet at the docks at 9, 'kay?" Kiba mumbled rubbing his cheek. "And don't look so serious all the time jeez, take a joke."

Shino let out a muffled sigh. "Hard to joke in these times, eh?"

"These times are all the more reason to joke." Naruto called chuckling to Kiba as he ran back to grab his coffees.

"I don't know Japanese." He stopped suddenly in the middle of the street, realization sinking in. A passer-by looked up, wondering if Naruto was talking to her.

"Neither do I." She said honestly then continued walking.

"Oh." Naruto strolled back towards Gaara. Half heartedly. Of course he knew he didn't speak it, it just finally clicked that he would have to learn it.

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not bad right? maybe? sorta? comment!!


	3. Coffee

This ones short. Sorry. i didn't research the time period much either, so any mistakes tell me!

**_Coffee_**

Surprisingly enough he likes coffee. He said something like "mumble-giraffe-mumble SLEEP mumble GUARD." Pretty sure I heard the giraffe part wrong. We tried our best to communicate, well I did. He liked listening. He would nod encouragingly when I said something right or correct an occasional Japanese mispronunciation, but other then that; unresponsive. I couldn't say much. Basically explained I was still learning the language. Which was an outright lie. The only teacher I had for that language had gone, and there is no respectable class that teaches the 'dirty jap rat' language except military school and I would never go back there.

This was a beginning, I could almost feel everything shift over our coffee steam. When I had to leave, I told him I had class. Well I told him something like:

"I go Sensei."

I think he understood.

Later

Iruka gazed at me from across the table with a loose confused look.

"Why do you want to learn now?"

I connected with his big brown eyes. Iruka was worried, you could see it his tanned features. I paused to admired Iruka's clothing sourly. Though I myself wore the typical white button up shirt, suspenders, and black pants, I was used to the billowing kerchiefs and cool rows of colourful fabric that danced against his darkened skin. He looked so relaxed, alive and bright. Those were the clothes I was raised in, the comfy luxury that came with the gypsy life.

That and the green circle.

"Not sure, just to have the knowledge I suppose. Especially with the Nazi's headed to Japan. Japanese could help our missions of defence. So come on, you know everyone. Who speaks it?"

Teachers won't teach me Japanese. The language was banned from 'civilized' communities. Almost anything not considered _true_ German was basically banned.

I know exactly what was running through Iruka's mind. And I could not deny it totally. I was mostly learning it for Gaara, a little bit for myself, archaeology and to defy the Nazi system. But somewhere inside I knew a small part of it was for Him. I can't let Iruka know I still think about Him. I mean, how many years now? Three? Four?

'_C__'__mon, teach me some Japanese!__'_

'_What, so you can speak it with your horrible German accent?__"_

'_No! C__'__mon, teach me to say __'__hello!__''_

'_Ohayo gozaimasu__! Baka-dobe!__"_

'_Ohaaameow gaznmittens! Bat-doo__'_

'_Don__'__t make fun! Baka!__'_

'_What__'__s that mean?__"_

'_Stupid.__'_

'_Hey!__'_

'_Heh.__'_

"This isn't about Sasuke is it?" Iruka interrupted my memories. I stared up at him blankly, confirming Iruka's suspicion with my dazed look.

"What?" I shook away the distant memory, dislodging hopeful thoughts immediately. "No, no! Must admit, it has got me thinking about him though."

His skin, his touch, his smirk.

Might as well be honest with myself, I will never forget him. How do you forget someone you loved? Even if I could forget him, why would I want to? The ivory pale of his face, his inked smooth shine of hair, his plump pink teasing lips and the thick lashes layering his eyes. His eyes. How long since they looked my way? How long since I connected with the warm pools of black? How long since he left?

"-uto, are you listening?" Iruka snapped shuffling his deck of fortune telling cards. "Sai, a friend of mine knows the tongue, but I warn he isn't….pleasant." Iruka said scribbling down an address on my hand. "Now get! My customers are waiting." Iruka had not seen a customer is weeks. I didn't say anything though, and dropped my money on the table as I left.

"Thank you!" I called strolling away. I headed to radio duty at the coffee shop, time to

take down the big boys.

in case you didn't get it Naruto's a rebel.


	4. Time Lapse

This chapter is after a three week time lapse, kay? (hence the clever title.)

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**_Time Lapse_**

I had officially learned Japanese. Well, basically. Words like folliculitis or endoplasmic(1) were not exactly in my need to know vocabulary, but the important stuff I had down. Sai, or 'Sensei' as he had demanded I call him, was not….pleasant as Iruka had said. He was….different. He was terribly rude and harsh but in the kind of way that made you think he didn't realize that he being rude.

I glanced across the ever present morning mist that caked my early rendezvous with Gaara. I smiled gently over my black coffee and Gaara gave that halfway almost twitch.

"What's the ocean like?" I asked suddenly as the cool mist condensed into puddles on the table, wind wrinkling the water droplets. I had learned much about Gaara in the past three weeks.

Gaara was born and raised in Japan, he was shy and had intense eyes which frighten people, but he doesn't mean to glare, it's how his face rests. He had grown up along the shorelines with his uncle. Gaara never spoke of his parents so I assumed they were 'out of the picture'. Gaara had been traveling to town one afternoon and was captured by the Nazi followers. He was sent to a training facility and excelled at combat. They sent him, a skilled young fighter, to Germany as some sort of primitive offering, Germans being of a lesser intelligence then the Japanese….according to the followers. Unfortunately he could not speak the language, so the Germans considered him to be too stupid to be useful and released him as a guard. I told him I was glad it happened that way, otherwise we would not have met.

"It smell pretty." he said softly, inhaling the scent of his coffee as if he was smelling the salty winds he spoke of instead of caffeine. "And the creatures are…" he paused searching for the right words. He spoke to me in German, and I to him in Japanese. So we both learned a language. "are….beautiful. But best part…is the…sand…" He spoke slowly as he carefully thought out each phrase.

"The sand? Like dirt or mud?" I asked, confused. There was dirt here, and mud in the summer. I was a little jealous of this place Gaara had seemed to disappear to. He left me in front of the dingy grey building and had flown away to a war free home, a beautiful shore with scented winds and deep sands. I wanted to make him bring me, to tie myself into his fantasies. Impossible.

"No, no. Look." he lifted that odd container he always carried then suddenly put it back down in front of me. He turned to stare into my eyes with his intense green ones.

"Secret." He whispered putting his finger to his lips. He was so cute. My heart thudded against my chest in a quickening pace. I knew this container, he carried it everywhere, fearful to leave it alone. And it carried. . . .

"Sand." He smiled brightly, still whispering. He peeled away the lid and grasped my arm gently. My skin prickled from the contact, I could feel my ears turning red. Whenever I'm embarrassed or immensely happy my ears turn red. Stupid right? He gently pushed our fingers into the sand then ran them through the coarse particles. At least I thought it would be coarse, it looks coarse. Like many small rocks. But it was so smooth and calming, I was mesmerized. It was cool to the touch and ran swiftly along my fingers like water, tingling my senses. I could almost see myself standing on a shoreline, toes immersed in the sand, waves slapping against my shins.

I felt Gaara's eyes on me, I turned to face him, eyes wide, mouth agape. Like a fish. He smiled gently.

"See? Sand." he leaned in closer, I could feel his warm breath on my cheeks.

Kiss me, please.

I felt every fibre of my body calling out to him, every fibre except the important one; my mouth. I gazed at his lips longingly, silently.

"Smell." Gaara lifted a handful close to my face, gingerly. I inhaled, the strong smell of salt everyone told me the ocean bore, but another smell was stronger. Pure. It was…how do I describe the impossible? What is it? It was like…

Clean.

No, that isn't quiet right either. It was not the clean you get from lemon cleaning supplies, or from washing things down. It was familiar to snow, the crisp sharpened _clean_ smell. It was mother natures _clean_. It was freshness, it was invigorating. I was caught up in it, I wanted the ocean so bad.

"Yes? Best part." he said. I nodded.

"Where….how…how did you get this?" I asked my voice a soft whisper. Eyes never tearing away from the sand. I really like sand.

"Ah…I did not….want to be fighter…" he stumbled over the harsh German words before slipping into Japanese. "to join the war had no appeal to me. So the men, the, uh, Nazis? Yes, Nazis, offered me sand. They said take this sand, we give it to you, but you have to do what we say, all the time." He realized he was speaking Japanese and flipped back to German. " So now, I guard building and wear brown, right? Right. Sand, sand, sand." he shook his head thoughtfully.

My face was frozen. I felt like throwing up. I pulled my hand out of the sand, my body snapping away from Gaara so fast I fell to the ground. I stared up at Gaara, my face horror struck. Gaara looked confused. He put out his hand to help me up, I shoved it away.

"That's it?" I snapped coldly. "The whole reason you abandoned human kind, the reason you joined these ruthless murders?? No. NO! No, no, no. I thought you were different. Kind and sweet. You became a soulless warrior for a box of _sand!!_ you make me sick." I pulled myself to my feet, my stomach churning. Gaara's forehead was scrunched up. He was confused, sad, he wanted to help. "Wars are terrible things! You take them so lightly? Wars cause depressions, wars kill people. Wars have taken everything from me, wars have stripped me bare. They take my friends, my family, every one I love. And you enforce it for sand?? SAND?_ Sand.__"_I gave out a choked laugh. My eyes prickled with tears. Gaara shifted, so clearly wanting to rewind it, change everything. Me to. "Why?" I hiccupped, tears falling freely as I began to stumble backwards, unable to break eye contact.

"Why did I have to fall in love with someone like you?" I half sobbed, half whispered. How embarrassingly stupid of me. Gaara's body froze. I bolted as fast as I could.

(time lapse)

I had been running for about an hour when the sun finally rose. 6 o'clock. I can't believe I got up at 4 in the morning just to visit that jackass. I can't believe I'm still crying. I could see Burly Café in the distance. I had circled the entire city, only to end up a block away for my apartment. How frustrating. I can never go back to my apartment again. I suppose I could live on the streets for awhile, it's happened before but only for a week. My teacher saw my talent was dwindling and paid rent for me. Thank you Jiraiya. I swivelled into the open café. Kiba and Shino were bent over some plans and were rapidly discussing their next move, they barely tossed me a glance. Sakura was concentrating on a chess match with Iruka, that she was clearly losing. The café was empty.

"Weren't you already here this morning at some ungodly hour?" Sakura asked cheerfully, not looking up from her game.

"Guess I'm still thirsty." I choked out. Suddenly everyone snapped up. Damn, I was still crying.

"Oh! Naruto! What's wrong?" Iruka yelped, rushing to my side.

"Nufing…(hic)" Kiba looked pained and Shino avoided eye contact. Neither were good with consoling, but I was just happy they weren't overly fussy. Like Sakura and Iruka… then again….

I collapsed onto Iruka and began to sob, mumbling "'s'not fair…" Sakura went to make me tea.

(1) If you really care enough about what they are google them. Endoplasmic is a science term to do with the chemical make-up of some cell particles and folliculitis is a skin condition that I happen to have suffered from. It's not appealing or fun and left scars on my body. So we may all scowl out it…..feel free to scowl…(anytime now??) . . .

Cookies to anyone else who ever had it.

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review? again, for reyn's contest!


	5. Hyuuga's Love Disscussion

_**Yep, my chaps have been kind of short huh? Sorry. I'll shoot for longer…hee.**_

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_**Hyuuga's Love Discussion **_

I sipped my tea. I must be on my third cup. My crying had stopped and I was watching the two play their third chess match. They kept eyeing my cautiously, like I was going to break out sobbing again. I felt terrible for not telling them what happened, but to embarrassed to _actually_ tell them. I smiled warmly over my milkless tea. My eyes were probably red and hazy, but I was always told I looked cute after I cried. Maybe that would make them happy. Sakura sighed and rubbed my blond hair absently.

Suddenly the door swivelled open with a soft _ping._ We turned, surprised, as three Nazi soldiers walked in, brown uniforms swishing in the chilling winter air. Brown uniforms. The obvious leader had long silk brown hair and wide clear lavender eyes. I quickly checked the other soldiers. One did have red hair, but it was not…Him. I couldn't help staring at the red hair and the uniform.

Gaara.

I had truly fallen in love with him, was I so easily moved to this emotion? Why did no one ever love me back? Gaara must be disgusted with me. To be honest I couldn't totally be mad at him any more. Gaara never cared about anything, at least not like he cared about sand. About any reminder of his home. He must miss it. He was gentle and kind. Sweet but shy. Quiet and honest. How could I not fall in love? Plus his body…pale wide shoulders…long sexy legs…

"I'm looking for my cousin, a Lady Hinata. It seems she was headed to a Café in this area but this place….would not suit her." The leader said coolly, pausing to glance at the empty room.

Kiba looked a little panicked, trying to nonchalantly hide the stolen Nazi papers. I took my coat of and put it on the papers. Shino smiled at me, then his smile faded. Damn. I was crying again. Stupid uniforms. I tried to smile back at him.

"Hyuuga, I will report lady Hinata missing." the red head scurried off, glancing back at me anxiously. After all I had started crying while looking at him.

"Naruto! Not again." Iruka sighed.

"Ah. Sorry…" I mumbled pushing the tears away from my eyes forcefully. "So stupid…you'd th-think my tear ducts would be dried out…." I began shovelling them away frantically.

"What happened to him?" the one called Hyuuga asked voice filled with curiosity.

"He started crying when we came in…" The solider behind him stated. "A little odd, I suppose." he eyed me suspiciously.

"Sod off…" Kiba mumbled.

"Come now boy, what ails you?" Hyuuga said, still sounding only curious. I laughed. What did he care? Curious, was he? Fuck him. "Speak up." He demanded harshly.

"Got my heart broken. Again." I gave a humourless laugh. "So stupid. Stupid. Stupid." Sakura patted my head, trying to soothe me.

"Poor Naru…" She mumbled repetitively.

"Then forget about the broad. Just remove your love from her, easy enough." Hyuuga waved his hand dismissively.

"_Remove my love? _Have you ever been in love, sir?" I practically spat.

"When it's convenient." He sat down at the table, his underling shifted, clearly unsure.

"No, that's not love." I scoffed. "You can just decide went to fall in love. Nor can you decide when to be out of it. It's like an emotion. Uncontrollable."

"Well if I go to a circus I'm happy. That's controlling emotion." He gazed at me, he was challenging me to a verbal battle.

"Ah but if the circus is not amusing you're miserable. You spent all that money and got nothing, right?" I smirked.

"If I stab myself, I'm hurt." he said as Iruka moved a chess piece thoughtfully. Everyone else was staring at us, what a strange sight we must make.

"Pain is not emotion." I countered.

"Hm. Pray tell, how can you be sure you were in love?" He switched subjects, "Bring us some tea girl." he snapped at Sakura, who then scurried off.

"I've been in love before, and trust me, it's something that isn't easily mistaken." I whipped away the last of my tears, thankful for the Nazis distraction.

"You've been in love before? Not true love then?" he looked honestly confused. "I took you for a romantic."

"I suppose I am a romantic." sigh. "but I do not belief that everyone gets only one shot at love. Otherwise I would have lost my shot at age 16. I've been in love, real honest to God love, twice I suppose."

"Hm, guess I've never been in love then. How old are you?"

"Twenty-two. Naruto Uzumaki, I attend T-University."

"Twenty-six, Neji Hyuuga, Nazi captain. It's rare nowdays that anyone can afford university. You must be from a nice home." Neji nodded conversationally, but I was distracted.

"No, I have…a….scholarship….what time is it?" I whipped my head about wildly.

"Ten in the morning."

"Shit!" I bounced to my feet scrambling about gathering my pauper hat and fingerless mittens. I glanced at my coat, covering the vital plans and sighed. I'd have to leave it and come back later. I had a sweater in the apartment but….oh, my glasses and school books and homework. I slumped against a wall. "School. But all my stuff is at the apartment."

Everyone was staring at me.

"Then just go get it." Kiba shrugged. Sakura narrowed her eyes.

"Hey, Naruto. You come by early every morning. At like 3:30 am. Today you came back freezing and sobbing at 6 only to forget all about school, chat it up with a Nazi captain, remember school and refuse to go back to your apartment." Sakura said with a calculating look. I shied away, eyes connecting with my too big black boots.

"This mysterious heart breaker lives in your complex, right?" She said. I nodded, looking dejected.

"I'll walk you." Hyuuga said coolly.

Great. Nazi accompaniment. Helpful. I almost scowled at him, but caught Kiba's eyes as I turned. He always wanted me to be a spy for him, an Aryan on the inside lines.

"Thanks…" I mumbled. "but I don't think it will help."

"I'll come anyway." Hyuuga shrugged. He strolled down the side walk with me, followed a few paces behind was his guard. I glanced back into the Café, and shuddered against the cold. Stupid coat teased me from the table. "Why do you go to that café? There's one up the street a bit reserved for Aryans and unmarked Germans. Everything's cheaper and sweeter." he stated, strutting the way all Nazis do.

"I like the people there. Besides, just cause my hair is blonde and my eyes are blue, I get better food? That's stupid. If I was on the opposite side I'd hate it. What makes 'Aryans' so special anyway?" I snapped in one breath. He smirked.

"Führer Hitler says they are true German lineage."

"Ever thing little Adolf just has a thing for blonds with blue eyes?" I mumbled. Hyuuga laughed out loud.

"What's the pretty girl look like?" He asked, oblivious. I glanced upward, my building. Fuck, there's Gaara.

"She's probably in her apartment, you really shouldn't worry." I said trying too shrug him off. I was watching Gaara nervously. I think I sort of forgave him, now it was just a matter of apologizing for yelling to him. And the embarrassment of confessing…what if he turned me in to the Nazis? I glanced sideways at Hyuuga, I probably brought my own arrester with me.

"I'll just ask this guard to accompany you up then." Great. The irony in this is outstanding. Yes, yes. Send the guy who broke my heart to accompany me up the stairs so I don't meet with the one who broke my heart. Swell.

Gaara turned to face us and our eyes connected. He looked at me sadly. I broke eye contact.

"You there, solider." Hyuuga called, Gaara flinched.

He ran up to me and spoke rapid Japanese. "Look, I'm so sorry, so sorry. Please we have to talk. The thing is I-"

Hyuuga smacked him. Gaara turned to glare at him.

"What are you doing!" I yelped surprised. Hyuuga blinked at me.

"He's a Jap rat. He shouldn't even speak to you…" he blinked again, confused. I grabbed Gaara's arm, he turned to face me with a scowl.

"Don't make that face at me, when do you get off? We'll talk." I said in very loud Japanese, every once in awhile I cast a glare at Hyuuga.

"You speak Japanese?" He asked, a little weirded out.

"I'm fluent in twelve languages. Do you know this man hasn't had a break for five days? He practically sleeps standing up." I scowled at him.

"Jack. You will guard this building for the rest of today and tonight. Then the Jap will take over again." he ushered forward his guard, Jack apparently

"Yessir." Jack marched forward and stood guard before the building.

"Heil Hitler!" Hyuuga saluted.

"Huh? Oh, uh, Heil Hitler or…yeah…" I flopped my arm up half heartedly and jabbed Gaara to do it to. Gaara's looked a lot better then mine.

"Heil Hitler," He began in clear German. "And sir, I do speak German." Gaara sounded coldly. Hyuuga smirked, and strolled away.

"Accompany the boy to School." he called over his shoulder. I stuck out my tongue at his back.

We silently climbed the stairs and I wordlessly opened the door to my two room apartment. Half the room was a kitchen, the other was an unused living room, my bedroom was around through one door and had a small bathroom in the corner. It was small and cheap and filled all my needs.

"I'm sorry." I said suddenly. "I-I overreacted without hearing your side. It must have been scary and everything. I'm…" I looked at his face helplessly. Hoping beyond hope that he would smile. We was no smiling. He flopped down on my single couch.

"Do you have clothes that would fit me? I hate this uniform." He said. I did have clothes that would fit him. He was the same height as Sasuke. Maybe a little taller, but I could give him those pants Sasuke said were just a little to long. He'd look nice in that black turtle neck….Why are we talking about clothing?

"Gaara…" I began slowly.

"I never really cared about anything before. People, places, even myself. I only cared about sand." He fiddled with his brown hat. "You shouldn't…apologise. I never cared if I killed or hurt anyone." he looked up at me. I stared back, confused. A minute passed.

"So why do I care that I hurt you? It hurts me here." he tapped his chest. I flushed. He stepped cautiously up to me. "what did you call it?" he asked, hovering a few centimetres away from my face.

"Love?"

And he kissed me. He finally kissed me.


	6. Kissed Pink

Yay…no reviews..heh…(saddness….)

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_**Kissed Pink**_

Gaara's lips moved softly against mine, need growing as the kiss lasted ages. He moved down and kissed my exposed neck. I couldn't help but pant.

"Ga-garra…" I began to cry. Silent tears cascading down my cheeks. "will you really…love me?" I whispered into his hair.

"If you'll let me." he said softly before pushing me against the wall, pinning my arms above me with one hand, sliding his other under my shirt, he felt along my stomach, chills running up my sides.

"I…have to…" I got caught off as he licked my ear. "mmha-I…Gaara I-ahh-school-"

"Your ears are sensitive." he mumbled into them. "Why are you crying? Does it hurt?" he pulled back, scrunched forehead looming over concerned aqua eyes.

"No," I smiled at him. "I'm happy." I kissed his lips softly, smile still on mine.

"Emotions are strange." he concluded. I nodded. "Do you have to go to school?" he asked against my lips. "I never went." he tried to persuade me with a kiss, a kiss I just about melted into.

The door banged open.

"Naruto are you okay-hey!" Sakura's voice shouted from the door. "Get off of our Naruto, Nazi scum!" she shouted kicking Gaara against the wall, smooshing me into it. Gaara growled. I stumbled a little dizzy. Iruka smashed Gaara's stomach with his elbow.

"Don't you touch him!" He glared furiously, like a mother hen protecting her hatchling. Shino rushed to my side steadying me, while Kiba pinned Gaara on the floor.

"Stop. Stop!" I called trying to steady myself. I felt a headache coming on. Everyone froze and turned to me.

"You alright?" Shino asked, concerned.

"You smacked my head against a wall?" I don't know why it was in question form. Guess I was a little confused.

"This Nazi was going to rape you!" Sakura yelped, angry and defensive.

"Who, Gaara?" I asked. "No, he's not a Nazi. He'll look better in the turtle neck."

"Maybe we should sit him down…" Kiba said blankly.

"He didn't break my heart…he loves me…" I mumbled as they lay me on the couch. "He's the spy I got for you….sort of…he had to learn German first…" I thought it up on the spot. I had to protect him. "I fell in love…"

Everyone was silent for a minute.

"So…you're on our side?" Kiba asked Gaara.

"Which ever side Naruto is on…" Gaara stated, rubbing his forehead. "Ow…"

"I have to go to school. Are you okay Gaara?" I felt better already. I stood up slowly, Shino easing me up.

"Gaara, these are my…overprotective…friends. Sakura, Shino, and Kiba. That's Iruka, he pretty much raised me. Guys, this is Gaara." I pointed each one out for him. They nervously helped him stand.

"Damn. I finally worked up the nerve to kiss you…" he mumbled. I blushed. It was a 'finally' for him to?

"Sorry…we were just worried when he left with that other Nazi…" Sakura looked apologetic. The other three nodded soberly. Gaara shrugged.

"Understandable," Gaara picked up my school bag. "Walk you?" he asked.

We all left together after Gaara had changed into regular clothes, I found my glasses and was wearing them. Gaara whispered that I looked very cute in them. Sakura and everyone split as we passes the Café. I told them we'd come by later. The school was only a short walk away.

"You really never went to school?"

"Well, elementary for a bit. First couple of grades." he shrugged. What? I thought he just meant high school…oh.

(A/N: I have no clue how school worked back then. But this is how I want it to, so there. Nya.)

"Not even high school?" I asked, a little surprised. He was well spoken and learned very quickly.

"Nope. Kidnapped by Nazi's, remember?" He was very talkative today. Which didn't bother me.

"How old were you?"

"14. Besides, I was a farmer, I wouldn't need an education beyond that." he nodded at me. Poor Gaara. 14. Wait a minute. That time lines screwed up. The Nazi's only came to real power about five or six years ago. How old was Gaara? Two or three years _younger?. . ._oops. What if he's nineteen? He can't be nineteen. Could he? Oh dear.

"Gaara, exactly how old are you?" I asked slowly.

"About your age." he shrugged. "Maybe a little older?" he mused. Good. I feel better now. "Where's your high school?" he asked. Glancing around.

"Excuse me?" I stopped.

"I said which way to school?"

"Gaara. How old do you think I am?" my heart thudded against my chest. Say twenty. Please say twenty. Don't say 18. Please don't say eighteen….

"Fifteen, sixteen." he shrugged. At least he didn't say 18...I groaned.

"no, no, no…"I smacked my forehead. He blinked, "Younger?? Look, any younger and I'd feel to old." he shook his head. "I'm almost seventeen you know."

"Gah?! You're sixteen!? God…I'm a cradle robber… an old man! Gaara! I go to university! I'm 22!" I'm six years older. SIX YEARS! I could speak fluently before he was even born! I was in school! I hit puberty when he turned 6!

"Really?" Gaara mused. "oh well, I have an old soul."

"That is completely beside the point! " I snapped. Just my luck, I snagged a 16 year old. Mind you, he definitely looks much older, older then even me. Gaara blinked.

"What's so wrong with it?" He said curiously.

"You're too young! I mean, I couldn't possibly…"

"But you said you loved me." He said slowly, "now you don't?" his face contorted. He was hurt.

"No! I do! It's just…well firstly we can't have sex…" I whispered. Gaara's eyes widen. Oops, he's just a child. Sex is even on his mind, I feel like a big pervert.

"Why not?" Gaara asked curiously. I blinked. Old soul, he says?

"I'd feel like I was taking advantage of you." I replied, slightly sulky. "At least not until you're 18…" I blushed. What a strange conversation…sixteen? Him?

"And if I took advantage of you?" he smirked, pushing me against a wall. He slid a hand up the inside of my thigh. My ears turned red.

"Ga-gaara!" I gasped. "Don't do th-that!" he chuckled and released me.

"All I'm saying is that I can easily over power you." He shrugged, sliding off of me. "Besides, you seem very willing…"

I sighed, frustrated. We were at my university now, and I pulled myself to a standing position and adjusted my glasses.

"Class time." I smiled.

8880888

Gaara sat in on all my classes, the teachers eyed him suspiciously. He never said much; just listened to the lectures thoughtfully. I had signed him in as my cousin. I had also absently _mentioned_ that he was a solider. No one argued with his presence, in fact at each bell girls flocked to him. He was very handsome, very sweet nature, and very much mine. He barely even acknowledged their presence as he scooped up my bag and asked me various questions about the lectures. His favourite was the Egyptian history. The pyramids fascinated him. I told him one day, when this stupid war had finished up, me and him would go see them. He loved that idea; he said we should leave right away. Too bad I wasn't a certified archaeologist.

Hitler loved archaeology. He was a big believer in the Christian artefacts and was constantly sending young archaeologists to Israel. There was a big opportunity for graduates, money, jobs, Hitler loved them. He would especially love an Aryan Archaeologist like me; his two favourite A's. All I could was hope he was dead when I graduated. Or maybe that this stupid war was over by then.

I got Gaara a book about Ancient Egyptians from the library, only to realise I never taught him to read. We spent lunch munching on meat buns while I taught him as much as I could about reading. I wrote all the letters and accents down and showed him pronunciations. H spent my afternoon classes prodding me and pointing to various words he couldn't get, or asking for the Japanese term for a word. It was my last class of the day when things turned a little sour.

My last, and least favourite class, happened to be mandatory. It was the Nazi teachings. It would not be so bad if we didn't have a guest speaker. Just my luck, it had to be Hyuuga. Like I haven't got enough of him earlier today. When he came in he immediately focused on Gaara and I. It was frustrating, the class was just as boring as always. But the entire time, I couldn't look away from Hyuuga. He was zeroed in on us, obviously confused by Gaara's presence, he had certainly ordered Gaara to accompany me to my school, but not through my classes. What was running through his head? I didn't hear a word he said. Gaara continued prodding me with pronunciation questions, seeming not to notice the threatening fellow at the front. Class finally eased to an end, and Hyuuga was crowded with questioning females. He, I suppose, was also quiet handsome.

"Ok, Gaara, time to go home." I stood up, he looked up at me from his chair.

"I don't have a home." He said thoughtfully.

"You can live with me." I smiled. "But there's only one bed." He smirked, as I knew he would.

"That's okay with me." He pulled on my arms, dragging me towards his seated figure. I laughed.

"I'll sleep on the couch." I chuckled. He frowned.

"You can trust me, I won't try anything!" he scowled, his voice a low whisper. "Honest."

"Yeah, I know. But it's a small bed, we'd be smashed together." I mumbled, gathering my books.

"I honestly don't mind." He was not wearing a smirk, he was being honest.

"I do. I haven't had sex in God-knows-how-long…"

"_You're_ horny? But I'm the teenager. You're supposed to be calm and collected." Gaara chuckled.

"Even adults get horny." A familiar voice sounded. Hyuuga had just walked into our conversation. Thankfully he had only heard the last couple sentences. I flushed. He'd heard I was horny…_God. _Gaara looked at him curiously trying to place where he'd seen him before.

"You're curious, officer. I give you the day off, after you walk him to school, but you accompany him through all his classes. Dedicated? Friendly to Aryans, fluent in German? Perhaps you should not be just a night guard." Hyuuga stroked his chin. "Hm." He seemed fond of 'hm'ing. How many times had he done it since I met him? It was sort of annoying.

"Did you locate Lady Hinata?" I asked, trying to change subjects.

"No, we did not expect to." He shook his head sadly. "This is her third week missing. We fear the worst." I felt a pang of pity for this loyal solider, it seems his cousin may have severely suffered, perhaps for his passion in the militia.

"Anyway," Hyuuga sighed, absentmindedly. "Solider, what is your rank and title?" He turned to Gaara.

Gaara blinked, a little startled. "Uh, Gaara?" He asked as if he wasn't quiet sure of his own name.

"Well, you, Gaara, are invited to the annual ball. Please take a partner." Hyuuga laughed. "Tell them Neji sent for you." He handed Gaara an invitation, nodded curtly at me and strolled away.

review? otherwise i will think it's crappy. rigth now i have 0 (cries)


	7. A Dress

**_A Dress_**

"This is wonderful!" Kiba shouted, clearly pleased by this outcome.

"I don't think it's so swell." I yelped as Sakura pulled out another of my eyebrow hairs. I gave a nervous sideways glance at the dress they wanted me to wear. It was deep dark blue with red ribbons imbedded into the chest as if it were a corset. The sleeves would stop at my forearm and I was to wear black lace gloves underneath it. It was silk and would flow softly down any woman's curves, a flattering sexy dress. Problem? I'm a man! I may be gay, but I do not like to wear women's clothing! I mean, I have no problem with people who do but I'm a guy! Inside and out! It was embarrassing and stupid!

So far, Sakura, whom we shall now call 'the evil one', has shaved my legs, my armpits, plucked any facial hair to trim eyebrows, and was now forcing my hair into a wigged hat. The hat was the same blue with a red ribbon, to match my dress. The blonde hair was exactly my colour. How had she managed that, I wonder? Never in all my like had I found someone with the same colour hair as me. Nice to know I wasn't a freak.

"Why can't Sakura go as his date?" I spoke, muffled as Sakura painted my lips deep red.

"Because. A) you speak Japanese, B) you're an Aryan, she's Jewish, and finally, most importantly, C) he barely talks to anyone but you." Kiba said. "oh, and me or shino, we'd look ugly as girls." he shook his head and shuddered. So did I.

"And I will look _so_ much better?" I snapped. But I knew it was faulty come back. I was always being mistaken for a girl when I was a little younger, with longer hair. I knew my blue eyes were big, and that my lashes were long. My lips were a little too big for a boy, and my stature was small and thin.

"Turn around." Sakura demanded, as she finished my make-up. Embarrassingly enough, she pulled of my shirt and suspenders and slipped on a bra.

"Eep!" I yelped, flushing a few shades. "Can't I be flat-chested?"

"If you're going to be a girl for an evening, at least be an overly endowed one." She said, filling the bra with water balloons.

I had carefully demanded average sized breasts, they were pretty average, though Kiba had definitely gone a bit bigger then I asked. Sakura slid the dress over my head and told me to remover my pants so she could adjust the fitting. She scowled when the dress was a little to wide on my waist and to long on my body. This was probably her old dress. As she began quick adjustments, I let my mind drift to yesterday, on my way home from school with Gaara.

He had been silent since the invitation but had finally spoken as we climbed the stairs to my apartment.

"I do not like that man much." he'd said curtly.

"Oh? He's not bad, I suppose." I'd shrugged, smirking to myself. He could not see my face as he was behind me on the stairs.

"I thought you hated Nazis?" he'd sounded angry, jealous.

"I hate what Nazis stand for. The people themselves are sometimes just confused or helpless." I'd shrugged. He was so cute, he was jealous of Hyuuga! We had by then reached my floor and we had stalked down the narrow hallway. I spent awhile fishing for my keys in my pockets.

"Which am I?" He'd asked moving a little closer.

"Cute?" I'd laughed at Gaara's growl. I had pulled the key out of my pocket just as Gaara suddenly wrapped his strong arms around me. I then dropped the keys,

"Ah-the keys.." I had been afraid to bend and get them, but I hadn't had to fear long. He hooked them in his fingers and snaked his hands back up my body.

"Just cute?" he breathed into my ears. Unlocking the door for me. I stumbled into the room, heart thudding against my chest. He shut the door and flushed his body against mine, pinning me against the door. He stared into my eyes intensely. "Let-let go." I mumbled half heartedly.

"I can't. See, now that I've held you I can't seem to not." he ran his thumb along my bottom lip. His eyes searched mine.

"Naruto. I need you." He whispered a blush on his face. "I love you." I pressed my lips against his without a hesitation. I wrapped my arms around his high up neck and tried to pull my shoes off with my feet. I trembled with want. Gaara's tongue was suddenly running against my lips, trying sweetly to ask for entry.

I parted my lips just as I got my shoes off, my sock had a hole in it, my toe wiggling free of the cotton. He pulled me up against him trying to raise me higher. He was a foot taller and probably disliked bending to kiss. I wrapped my legs around his waist hooking them together on his back. We were the same height now. His tongue explored my mouth, clumsy and curious like a child, but it sent shivers down my spine.

We stumbled to the bedroom, Gaara still wearing his borrowed brown shoes. He leaned me against various walls on the way, trying to delete the spaces between us. He finally pressed me into the bed and we parted.

"Gaara." I whispered running my finger over his eye lids, his forehead, brushing away his hair. There was a Japanese symbol hidden beneath his silken red locks. I traced over it repetitively. "what does it mean?" I asked softly.

"Love." he whispered, staring at me with childlike wonder. As if he had discovered something amazing and beautiful on my face. "but I never really understood until now."

We kissed deeply again, till he ran a desperate hand down my shirt and tried to push it up from my stomach.

"Ahh-stop." I said, breathing heavy. "Gaara, we only just kissed this morning." I said. I wasn't to be rushed. I wanted to keep his innocence for as long as I could. Gaara whimpered, but pulled away.

"But it feels like so much longer." he said, sliding off me.

"I know." I said. He rested his head on my stomach and I fiddled with his vibrant red hair. It splayed around on his head, defying all the rules it could. He sighed, then his breathing got slower. He was fast asleep. So cute. Never even ate supper. He was still asleep when I left this morning.

"Ouch!" Sakura pinched me from my day dreaming. The ball was in an hour. I hadn't seen Gaara all day, and Sakura was scolding me for not bring him with me here. The guys had jumped at the opportunity to send me and Gaara into enemy territory. A chance to infiltrate enemy grounds, as it were. I'm pretty sure Gaara didn't know we were actually going. I hadn't. Luckily, Sakura had a silk suit and tailed jacket with a red handkerchief and tie that matched the dress almost perfectly. Don't ask me why. It was pretty much Gaara's height perhaps a little shorter.

It hit me.

It was Sasuke's size. Perfectly. This was bought for Sasuke. I turned away from the suit.

"Is it Sasuke's?" I barely whispered. I got no reply. Sakura braided the wig silently, letting strands fall around my face. Kiba shifted, glancing away. The door pinged open.

"Where's Naruto?" Came a familiar deep voice. He sounded desperate and slightly excited.

"I'm here Gaara!" I called fondly. I swivelled to face him, letting Sasuke skip from my mind. He flushed pink.

"I-uh..didn't know you liked to…err-" he fumbled.

"I don't!" I snapped as Kiba laughed heartily. "They want me to accompany you to the ball! But I can't very well go as a boy." I scowled. "I look stupid." my ears turned red.

"No." he said quickly. "it's cute." he looked at me very seriously. I blushed. That intense look. "Adorable." then he turned back to face Kiba. Fidgeted a bit and asked Kiba something muffled. Kiba laughed loudly.

"Sakura! He wants to know if there's a matching umbrella! Wouldn't that be cute? A parasol?" Kiba laughed. "Keep it in your pants, man!" Kiba laughed loudly. Shino strolled into the building and stared at me.

"Who's the lovely lady?" he asked honestly. He smiled up at me flirtatiously. Everyone laughed, except Gaara and I who scowled.

"It's Naruto, man!" Kiba thumped him on the back. Shino blushed.

"Naru?" he pinked as I nodded. "how…um…realistic."

I guess that meant I was honestly done. Sakura was already shoving Gaara into the suit and tie. Gaara turned to me, yanking away from Sakura.

"Naruto. I fell sleep." he said. This would probably be taken dirty by Kiba.

"Yes. You did."

"I woke up two hours ago."

"Wow. That's quite a sleep." I was honestly surprised. It was about 4pm now.

"You don't understand. I'm an insomniac. I haven't slept a full night in six years." he said.

I smiled.

"That's amazing." I beamed at him

"Yes, you are." he nodded.

We smiled broadly for awhile. Then I realised how old he was 6 years ago.

"I feel like an old man!" I cried out suddenly. Gaara smirked.

"That's right, six years ago you were the age I am now." he stuck out his tongue, eyes unchangingly intense, making it so much cuter. Kiba blinked.

"Ew. Naruto you perv!" He shouted, the math finishing up in his head.

"He's sixteen?" Sakura blinked. Shino gaped.

"Shut up! I didn't know!" I yelled defensively.

"Dude you're a cougar!" Kiba laughed. Gaara twisted his head.

"Like a cat?" Gaara asked, unfamiliar with the phrase. Shino laughed and Kiba thwapped him on the back.

"You bagged an older lady!" Sakura joined in.

"I'm not a lady!"

"When he's was 14, you were twenty!" Shino laughed. Gaara smiled. Kiba's arm was still slung over his shoulder. He was happy, in the middle of all this cheerful banter and shouting, he was happy. He smiled at me.

9(()988)9(8(8(898999(9

"You look very handsome." I said, my eyes trailing his long trim body. "And older." I added, sighing. "If only."

He smiled, flushing his body against mine.

"Oh?" he said, placing his finger under my chin. "but in my young age I'm so zealous."

Kiba must have taught him that word. I laughed.

"What a picture perfect couple." Sakura sighed at her handiwork. The main shock had come when Sakura went to pluck a few eyebrows, make him 'neater'. We were all a little surprised that Gaara had no eye brows. I mean, he had never had any, it was just not something you really notice. Especially since you were captivated by his intent eyes. He told us he never had any, even from birth. He wasn't sure where it had come from. He also couldn't tell us about the love symbol on his forehead. He said he'd had it as long as he could remember. What a mysterious man.

"Suppose we should get going." I said. Reluctant to venture about as a girl. Someone would surely notice. I tucked the invitation into Gaara's chest pocket.

"Good luck." Kiba said cheerfully as we waltzed out of the Burley Café, clad in our finest. As we strolled down the street, the cool night air dancing along our clothes and hair, Gaara kept glancing at me nervously.

"What?" I said before we even reached our first turn. Gaara turned the same scarlet as his hair.

"Can-hm…nothing" He shrugged.

"Tell me." I demanded hotly. I was already uncomfortable in these stupid shoes. I was also hungry. Dinner was being served there, but I couldn't arrive fast enough. I was supposed to eat like a lady though. Fat chance. Gaara seemed to be having a real difficulty spitting what ever it was out.

"Gaara?"

"Can I-" he whispered, looking at the floor. "Can I hold your hand?" he was barely audible and red as tomatoes.

_Sooooooo cute!_

I slipped my hand into his, giving it a quick squeeze.

"Always."

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	8. A Waltz

Short chapter, sorry! Complications arose. No longer for the contest. I missed the due date…(dies a little inside) I wrote seven chapters in three days…and still didn't finish…augh…it will update a little slower now (not this slow though…)but I will take more time on my chapters. I also need to finish my other stories! Grr! (overtired)

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Yes no maybe so: thank you! I know, the concept kind of shocked me to…it came to me in a dream, like most of my stories (is the Yaoi god telling me things?!) and I was sort of like 'What?' but it's been writing itself…a life of its own really…

YamiTenshi: Hell yeah, here's a cookie….hell here's a box. Lets eat it together. Screw it, everyone who read, favourited, alerted or commented is invited to my imaginary cookie party! Wootz! If life was easy, it'd be a slut instead of a bitch. (sigh)

xthextellxtalexmassacrex: Sorry I took so long, black out konked my comp and I lost all my prewritten work, got depressed, ugh, no excuses! (but I hate writing things twice!) Thanks!

misakaida: Kiba's a menace! ( I love him though…) Gaara was…enjoying Naruto's dress…I have a dirty mind, apparently Gaara inherited it…

ShyHyperactiveNinja: yeah, I get a kick out of it too…hee! Thanks so much! (blushes.)

Thanks to everyone! Kisses and hugs and cookies!

(bows dramatically.)

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**A Waltz**

"Gaara, do you know how to dance?" I asked as we strolled down the street. Evening was fast approaching, and the setting sun danced across the beautiful landscape of central Germany. It had only now come to me that Gaara, being an upstanding teenager of a vastly different culture, probably didn't know how to waltz. Gaara shook his shocking red head, confirming my fears.

"Do you?" he asked honestly. It hadn't occurred to his that the dinner would include dancing. He probably didn't know what 'Ball" meant.

"Yes! I use to go dancing all the time when I was your age!" I said, at the risk of sounding like an old man. "Sakura used to take the three of us out, quite forcefully really!" I laughed brightly.

Sasuke, a graceful young man in every aspect except dancing, would never willingly go. He said he was not born with two left feet, but rather with two disobedient ones that had an (ir)rational fear of dance floors. I sighed, my memory stirring through times of loud music, laughter and a romantic waltz that never wanted to end.

"Teach me?" Gaara asked, almost eager, sensing the pleasure dancing brought me.

"You'll need to know for tonight!" I laughed, placing his hand on my waist and gathering my skirt ring with my other hand. We began to, quite literally, waltz down the empty roads, my voice counting aloud for Gaara's sake. As Gaara got the hand of the steps my counting died and I continued talking, my heart racing along side my words.

"I've danced the girl part before, see, when we used to go dancing the three of us would interchange with each other. When I danced with Sakura, I played the male role. Otherwise I was most the female part, being so short." I shook my head with a sigh, I glanced at Gaara's face to make sure he was interested in what I was saying. He stared at me with such intensity I thought I would burst. "What?" I asked.

"Who else went?" He said, confusion and fear contorting his face. "Kiba? Shino?"

"An old friend of mine…" I said slowly, the name danced on my tongue for a bit.

"Sasuke?" he asked solemnly. I tripped, perplexed. How had Gaara known Sasuke?

"H-How-I mean- what?" I took a step back. My heart thudded against my chest. For some reason, when Gaara said his name, it hurt more then usual.

"Sakura told me she used to be in love with him. Said you were the best of friends and that you got so sad when he left. She thanked me for making you happy." He shuffled trying desperately to explain himself. Sakura said that?

How foolish of me to think I could hide all my sadness from my friends. How silly to think that I was the only one that hurt so much, he was their friend too. I had been selfish, thinking I had every right to mourn and hide it behind a smile. I had good friends at home, and I would really need to thank them later. They really cared.

"Do I make you happy?" He asked, his cheeks staining themselves reddish pink. He gazed down at me, the intensity still there, but different, begging not demanding, hopeful not angry.

"Yes." I smiled warmly up at him, feeling the familiar bubbling sensation in my stomach. Gaara smiled softly down at me, the eyes of a child, body of a man, smile of a lover.

"Good."

We waltzed a bit more before I felt the need to talk again.

"Our dances happened during the depression, so I suppose it will be different. A lot different." I laughed, as Gaara twirled me around, getting right into it. Gaara was turning out to be a natural at dancing.

"Depression?" Gaara asked. I vaguely wondered whether or not Japan had suffered the depression, I could have sworn the whole world did.

"It started just after the first world war. All through the dirty thirties. What, 14 years ago? God, you were only 2, but I was 8. I remember the first world war as well, they called it the war to end all wars. Yeah? Well, explain this one." I let out a sigh. I had been born into difficult times, fraught with wars and depressions. Maybe I'd survive to a recovery stage, years and years from now, maybe there won't be any wars at all.

"I lost my parents in the War, I was 6, after that, Iruka raised me. Orphanages were full to the brim, no room for a kid like me, so they left me on the street and Iruka found and raised me as a gypsy. See my parents died in an…uh…well, improper way. We were fairly rich and considered noble, but we lost all of that to the government when my dad refused to fight. My parents were pacifists, but you see, my dad was a great fighter, one of the best, so everyone was mad when he wouldn't fight. So soldiers rammed my door down, they murdered my parents right in front of me, took the house and the money and threw me out. Well actually they wanted to kill me, but I sort of ran." I remembered that well.

My Dad's blue eyes fading, telling me to look away, telling me to run. The thunk of soldiers boots above my hiding spot, three days underneath the stairs silently sobbing, waiting for a moment when no one was watching. Being turned out of the orphanage, the weeks I spent begging and stealing of the streets. Iruka finding and raising me, the depression.

"That's…I don't know a word for it…" Gaara mumbled, he pulled me closer, as if to squeeze out all my sadness.

"Then the war ended, we lost, and the Depression started. It was awful. No one had money or food, it was not uncommon to go a day or two without eating. Everyone was poor, economy dropped, men were killing themselves. Ten families crowded into one house. Those were my school years, no chalk, no text books. Don't know how we learned anything. But the dancing! We only had one pair of clothes, so you just went in those, buildings were dangerous and old and to expansive, so we danced in the streets. There was no food, but there was plenty of booze! The musicians didn't ask for money, just a place to spend the night, and a warm meal. We danced the night away, pretending we were all rich with wine and happy. That's the best part of my childhood, dancing on dirt roads." my warming laugh filled the air. Gaara looked delighted, and a little jealous.

"Wish I could have seen it. Been there, I mean." he mumbled as we turned the final turn of our songless dance, and parted slowly. The ball was just a street away.

I cannot tell a lie.

I'm happy he wasn't there. These are my memories of Sasuke. I cling to them, they're painful and sometimes the difficulty of remembering the harsher moments, the sadder moments will weigh heavy on me, but they are not his. I realize if I had had Gaara then, never Sasuke, I would be a great deal happier. I would be with the one I loved. But a love had and lost is better then no love at all.

It is difficult to describe, even to myself. Sasuke and Gaara are two separate people to me, neither a replacement or a preparation for the other. I enjoy every minute I spent with both of them, as individuals and separate.

It is important to me, that Sasuke is a part of my life, even in his death. I cherish the memories, just like I cherish the one's with Gaara. I love neither more then the other and would never trade one for the other. I would be so torn and desolate if they were both here with me, so in a cruel way the death is a gift. I love Sasuke. I love Gaara. No pass tenses of future tenses. I feel as if an eternity could pass, the world could melt away and every physical thing fade and these emotions would remain an unchanging truth.

It will sound to mean to Gaara if I say it aloud. To say I love them both equally may sound a selfish and infuriating, but it is how I feel. It is honesty, in a very strong and painful way. Gaara, no one, would understand, not even I understand completely.

I'd hurt him.

"Naruto?"

"Hm?"

"We're here."

* * *

See, they're there!…eh…weird things coming…really strange…sorry, but I know what's coming next, no one will guess, perhaps next chapter or the one after. If you guess it…you are a witch and will be burned at the stake. Or I'll write you a one shot…but no one will guess. It's really odd. I have a sick mind….(a little confused and scared of herself.)


	9. Sorting out my Lies

Ha! i went on vacation! yeah! but i'm back now, and i thought of you while i was away! really! i wrote the next three chapters on a note pad! now i just have to type them up. sorry i didn't tell you about my vacation...heh...sorry..

* * *

_**Faithful**_

This was certainly unlike any party I had ever been to, but I knew the basics. Everyone wonders around, dainty ladies hands linked to their male accompaniments, elegant background music, pompous men and boys flitted about the women, pretending to be charming gentleman. As it was, everyone was strolling about the green and decorated yard, but I was certain it was not for long. As most well thrown parties, there are two groups of people, the invited and the simply invited. The invited and the simply invited people strolled together outside the lawn for about an hour or so, then the simply inviteds go home. The invited go into the actual party room for dancing and eating. The trouble was, I didn't know if we were invited or simply invited. A difficulty in it's self.

For now we strolled about, Gaara and I making small talk, searching for Neji Hyuuga. He could tell us our invitation status. We got complemented many times, saying we were a handsome couple, that we suited each other. Every time we would both blush like mad. Gaara was awkward with the conversations and social intimacy, but I stuck by his side, putting in words for the two of us. People just assumed he was shy. It was painfully dull and I got the inkling I was being stared at.

The conversations were light and skin deep, dabbling along the fine lines of politics, never straying far from the Nazi rules and 'golden' laws. Commenting about how well something was done or if something could have done better, ignoring oppressions and grumbling about 'those damned rebels with their Gypsy ways and Jewish greed.' I held a tight smile and nodded along with their obscenities, occasionally chocking out comments, that I'm sure would later make me sick.

An elder gentleman told me I reminded him of someone, a young man whom he had forgotten the name of. I don't know if he was referring to my Dad or me, and I don't want to know. These people don't have the highest respect for the Uzumaki clan. I called myself Angelina no Sabaku, Gaara's last name and my favourite character in a book I was reading for class. I liked that the name had 'Angel' in it.

"Ah, Gaara. Been looking for you." A voice said from behind. The familiar voice of Hyuuga. We turned to greet him, the moment of truth. Would he recognize me? Of course he would! I had already come up with a lie for this kind of situation. His eyes widened when he saw me.

"Er, Naruto?" He said awkwardly.

"Hm? No." I smiled sweetly, as femme as I could get. "I'm his twin sister, Angelina. It's a pleasure, I heard you were very kind to my foolishly in love brother."

Hyuuga blinked. Then he blinked again.

"You look alike." He said eyeing me oddly. He sounded sort of stupid, I mean, duh. I said we were twins.

"Cept for the boobs." Gaara muttered coldly. I flushed and smacked his shoulder. Hyuuga flushed as well. This was infuriating. I may be gay, I may be a little girly looking but I know what I am, and I'm glad I'm a man. (A/N: and so is Lola…hee, know the reference?)

"It's a pleasure." He greeted thoughtfully. "Are you two…married?"

No!

"Not yet." Gaara stated. This was a shock. How long had marriage been teetering inside Gaara's head? How soon could I get it out? Married? Me? First of all, ew. I am a man, and I wasn't gonna be no beautiful blushing bride. I have my pride. Also, he's sooo under aged. I wouldn't play the part of a girl, and he certainly wouldn't. What the hell? Married? Who would marry two guys? Did I want to get married? When did he even mention this? Am I not involved in the decision? Am I a girl to him? Shudder. I was suddenly extremely mad at Gaara.

"Oh. How old are you two?" Neji sounded vaguely confused and a little miffed. I was prepared for this question, after all I had told Hyuuga yesterday that I was 22, Angeline was my twin. She needed to be 22 as well. As prepared as I was, Gaara unfortunately was not.

"Six-" He began, I quickly pinched his backside. He coughed, startled. "Twenty-six."

I am thoroughly pleased that Gaara caught onto my need for him to be older. I knew that Gaara, my Gaara, was quick to learn and even faster to grasp what needed to be grasped, but I felt a strange pride in him. I felt so strongly connected to him, so alike in this quiet strange suffering. It felt as though our loses currently ran parallel in a race neither of us wanted to win or lose. To win meant we had suffered the most, to lose meant the one we loved suffered the most. In such a race, I felt certainly not to let Gaara win. If one of us ever needed to suffer, I would ensure it would be myself, for, though I felt I was carved of the same wood as he was, I knew I was stronger, weathered. I would protect Gaara, my Gaara.

"I am 22, as my brother is." I smiled politely through my pessimistic thoughts. I knew the cause of his confusion. Most 22 year old woman were pretty much married.

"Hmm." he said, true to form. "Then it's time for a promotion, solider."

What? A promotion of what?

"I talked to the higher ups about you. You are a brilliant fighter, if you loveas well as you fight, I am unsurprised by such a lovely companion." he nodded at me. "you speak German like a native, you have a wonderful Aryan woman, you are loyal and follow orders to an excessive tee. Pray, are you Christian?" Hyuuga asked, hope balancing in his strange prominent eyes.

"With God as my witness." Gaara, pulled a black string tied around his neck to reveal a beautifully simple cross. Where had he gotten that? Kiba. Probably told him to fake being Christian.

I was more than a little confused, I was offended. ' you have a beautiful Aryan woman' First off, he doesn't have me, I'm not a plaything. Does it matter that I'm Aryan, that I'm German? That I'm a beautiful woman?

"Perfect, you've been promoted, to my assistant." Hyuuga prompted gladly. Huh?

It was easy to forgot Gaara's day job. It had been nearly four months since I met him, only a few days since I confessed, but he wasn't a Nazi. Nazi didn't define him, the way it defined others. The boys, proud of the insignia, never realized they were nothing but the insignia. But I had gotten to know Gaara, he was no longer a solider of war to me.

I felt suddenly guilty. Nazi's had homes, had people they loved, people who loved them. It's so difficult it makes me sick, makes my toes curl. I knew I wasn't the same as Kiba and the others. I, for all my brigade and pride, am a pacifist. I had said it before. The people weren't the problem, it was the idea. These reckless thoughts, that one human being is better then another right from birth. How do you fight an idea? How do you tear such an empathy from the air and contain it, destroy it?

I couldn't hate the actual people. Hyuuga Neji spent most of his time searching for his cousin, fearing for Lady Hinata. Gaara had been confused and afraid. How many on this lawn have a child? Were beaten by their parents? Suffered poverty? Lost family and friends? Lost a lover? It hurt. I could never truly hate a person, I know that. I am a wuss. I can never kill, take a life. I could never follow an idea like that. Nor could I follow the reverse idea, the one Kiba follows. That all Nazi's are evil, to the core. How is that any different from all Jews are greedy? All gypsies are thieves? It's confusing and hard. I know that Nazi's do some terrible things, I know it must be stopped. But not all Jewish people are nice, not all Gypsies are kind. Not all Aryan's are beautiful. Who am I to decided who has the right to live? It's hard to decipher this life. This believe, sent deep in my bones, inherited, no doubt, from my foolish parents.

Were do I project my hate? My fear?

Who can I save? Out of millions, billions, who can I save? I shake with such powerful thoughts.

Every single human life, no exceptions, exclusions, or elimination. Every human on the planet, deserves a chance to live.

Why is everything so confusing?

"Thank you." Gaara said as politely as he could. He still sounded hollow. I remembered where I was.

"Congratulations!" I beamed at him, as brightly as I could. This was good. The higher we travelled, the easier sabotage was. I pushed my other cynical thoughts away for now. I would cry them out to Gaara later, probably… What did Gaara think of this war? He seems so gentle, but he is a fighter. Gaara smiled softly back at me.

"Geez. Can't you smile?" Hyuuga snapped.

"What?" I asked, confused.

"Sabaku. He never smiles. I mean, on an occasion such as this, a prideful smile is necessary." Hyuuga said tightly.

"What?" I asked again. First off, who was he to talk? I've seen him smile, what? Once? Second, Gaara was smiling for Christ's sake.

"I am smiling." Gaara stated, the smile faded back to normal. "Well, was."

"Really? Let me see." Hyuuga demanded, swivelling Gaara to face him more directly. Gaara gave a weak smile, embarrassed.

"I don't see it." Hyuuga said, narrowing his eyes. I searched his face, he seemed genuinely perplexed.

"Really?" I asked. "I see it. It is sort of rare, but he looks so cute when he does it." Gaara flushed, a soft little smile growing.

"Well, I see the blush." Hyuuga shrugged. I blinked.

Oh.

I thought back to the first smile I ever so on Gaara, that half way facial twitch. But that was his smile. It had grown a little since then on different occasions, but that was how he smiled. Had I really adjusted so much to reading his facial expressions? The smiles I saw, did nobody else see them? I felt a swell of pride. I interlocked our fingers. His smiles were mine.

When did I get so possessive? Oh well.

"Shall we step indoors for a brief dance before dinner?" Hyuuga asked subtly. Good. We were invited.

"Certainly!" I smiled, pleased with myself.

--

This was not what I thought he meant.

Why was I dancing with Hyuuga?

I couldn't help it. His strong hand curved around my waist and led me across the dance floor with the grace and ease of a professional. Here was a man who was always in control, and he never let you forget it. We twirled elegantly around the dance floor in powerful twists.

"You are an excellent dancer Herr(1) Hyuuga." I was reaching, and I knew it. I had to take my mind of the smooth hand supporting my back and the broad shoulder I clutched.

I'm gay. Remember?

But it's more than that. The heterosexual community constantly flounced amongst each other playing tag with finger tips and accidental on purpose touching. A woman daintily touching a mans arms. A man pushing back her hair, or laying a hand on her shoulder, seeming not to pay to much attention to it. If I started playing touch and tag with a man, I'd get beat up. I was deprived of contact. And this was an explosion of taste. Men had played, offered me a drink, caught my back when I fell, touched my arm in a conversation.

I love Gaara, but contact with a handsome man, was contact with a handsome man. I'm weathered, but I am not weathered against this.

"No need for formalities. I will undoubtedly see you often, now with Gaara under my wing." Hyuuga offered politely. "Call me Neji." Fat chance.

He twirled me again. He really could dance.

"Where does Gaara live?" Neji questioned. Despite my immediate denial, I was already calling him Neji. What can I say? I'm a people person.

"With my brother in the complex." I answered, unsure.

"You're brother is interesting. Perhaps you could persuade him to sup with me? I get the feeling he dislikes me." Neji seemed to laugh to himself.

"It's not you! I mean…" I trailed. It wasn't that I disliked Neji, the person. I just disliked his uniform. Don't hate the player, hate the game.

"Just the uniform huh?" Neji guessed.

It's difficult to like someone when their comrades are threatening to kill your best friends. I thought about Kiba and Sakura, both Jewish. I thought about Shino, a Czechoslovakian. I thought about Gaara and Sasuke, both Japanese. I thought about Iruka and all my other friends. I thought about Jiriya, shipped off to war. I thought about my neighbour, Frau (2) Abendroth, who was now a widow, or Frau Maynard who lost both her sons and her son in law. The kind man who delivered the papers, the musician who often rested outside Paris Café with his fiddle. The friendly Jewish man that had offered me a cooked potato during my week on the street. Dead? Fighting? Ghettos? What was the difference?

I blamed the swastika(3) he wore. Well, actually I knew the Hindu, Buddhist, Dharma and many other meanings of the twirling insignia. All were representations of balance, gods or peace. My least favourite is the Hitler interpretation.

"Yeah." I sighed, frustrated.

"It's funny. He introduced himself as an Uzumaki, but I know for a fact that the Uzumaki family has been…wiped out." Neji looked at me suspiciously.

"Ah…he introduced himself as an Uzumaki again?" I stalled. Come on brain! Search, search! This is a difficult problem. Uzumaki Naruto is, according to the government, dead. They thought they had killed me all those years ago. The only reason I could rent the apartment was under Jiriya's name. Jiriyaalso gave me a fake ID so that I could go to university and school.

"Yes. He's not?" Neji asked, clearly this had confounded him for a long time. "he bares a striking resemblance to the late Herr Uzumaki. He was a brilliant man, I had the pleasure of meeting him once. As far as I knew he had one child, a son, and they all passed away from a gas leak in the house hold."

Yes, that is the story and the government's sticking with it.

"He was close friends with the Uzumaki boy. As was I. In fact we summered with them once or twice. My brother…handled the deaths….badly." I trailed. I'm an ok liar, but not when I have to make it up on the spot. "He started introducing himself as an Uzumaki after our own parents passed away."

"Then what is your family name?" Neji asked solemnly.

Name. I need a last name.

"Uchiha." there I go again. Just adding to the misery. "But please keep calling my brother whatever he introduced himself as. He's not mentally ill, he's just…sad." I concluded honestly. I am sad. The song's beautiful notes ended with a pleasant sigh. Neji bowed greatfully.

"Thank you for the dance, Angelina Uchiha." I curtsied back.

Neji wore a thoughtful look as he strolled away on the dance floor.

* * *

(1) Herr- means Mr. Or sir. A respectful term.

(2) Frau- means Mrs. Both names are German and completely randomly selected. If you

have one of these last names, kudos to you.

(3) Swastika- you know, the Nazi emblem. The black curved cross thing, in a white circle with a red back ground. I'll have you know, it means peace and balance in Buddhism and it represents different Gods in Hinduism. I don't know the exact details or anything, Google it if you want to know more. But Hitler tainted something very beautiful and sweet. It was a good sign.


	10. A Drunken Dance

_******Hello all, sorry i didn't say much last time, i was dead beat. My parents are on vaction so we HAVE to do something EVERY SINGLE DAY...don't they know vacations are for relaxing and doing nothing? geez. Anyway.**_

YamiTension: i apoligise. i killed Sasuke, he dead. yep. so no drama there. but yes, there was lots of disco dancing, because that's how i roll. (strikes disco pose!) yeah. i'm cool. and Naruto is a cradel robber.

Sakura-Cherryblossom4: hee, they danced! that wasn't my weird thing but yeah, it was cute. Neji had reasons though. secret ones, can't tell you yet.

Kaiser Wilhelm: i'm glad SOMEONE got the Lola joke. i was starting to feel old. (im only 15!) yeah, i sort of liked the idea too. i was watching Schindler's List and starting thinking about what i would do as someone whose not Jewish, that night i dreamt this up. Your right though, i've been reading a bunch of WW2 books to help me and almost all of them are written from Jewish prespective but the Nazi's targeted so many more people. Black people and Japanese and Polish and Czech and Nomads (gypsies) and homosexuals as well, in fact the first people he killed were the homeless and mentally or physically disabled. it's a terrible thing.

A book that really helped me, and the only one i found from a non-Jewish prespective is 'Traitor' by Gudrun Pausewang (translated by Rachel Ward.) I strongly sugest it, it was a great read written from the prespect of a German girl who is confused about the war. She's hiding a Russian Solider (an enemy to the Nazi's btw) and wants to protect him, but that makes her a traitor to her own people. It's a great book, read it!!

but i digress. Thank you all my reviewers and readers. I love you.

Gaara does to. (Naruto: ME to!!)

This chapter has a drunk Gaara in it, and lots of swearing! this is sort of just to tell Gaara's story, (finally)

_**

* * *

**__**Drunken Dance**_

The supper was extraordinary, considering no one else could afford anything of the sort. Before the food was even settled Gaara dragged me back out onto the dance floor. He'd been in a foul mood since I danced with Neji.

"Gaara?" I asked as we marched to a beautiful rythym.

"In Japan, you dance with the person you came with. Especially the first dance." He said, a little snippy. I laughed.

"I came with you!" I said happily. "Not Neji!"

"But you danced with him." Gaara scowled.

"Are you jealous? Don't worry. How could it go anywhere? We're both guys and there's no way he's gay." I laughed, interlacing our clutched fingers. "Besides. I love you, not him." I clarified, much to Gaara's amusement. He was satisfied.

"Tell me more about your childhood." He demanded softly. He was curious.

"Whatever I tell you, you have to tell me something of equal value." I made a deal, smile still playing on my face.

"Deal." He responded, finding my childlike antics entertaining.

"Ok. Jiriya-sensei. He picked me off the streets a few times. That apartment I'm in now is his. His sister too, Tsunada. They were pretty cool, neither off them ever married though. Jiriya was a pervert and Tsunda always got drunk and angry. She had amazing strength. Anyway, so Jiriya was my teacher in high school, he got me into university, it's thanks to him I'm where I am now." I laughed happily. Then I stopped. "He was drafted into the war a week or so before I met you. Tsunda had already left to be a nurse."

There was a slow stretching silence as Gaara stored this away in his memory.

"Is he…alive?" He asked slowly.

"I don't even know, that's the worst part! I'm not a relative or go to the school anymore, and even if I did, sometimes they don't even know!" I snapped, infuriated. Jiriya could be dead and I may never even know! I suppressed a tear. "Everyone is leaving."

I squeezed his hand tighter. Poor Gaara. Poor Jiriya. Poor me. Poor world. I can't think like that! I'm fighting for the greater good! I will never give up! The only sure thing is change, believe it!

"Where I grew up, if a mother died during child birth, the child was a demon, bent on killing." Gaara said suddenly. A sickening sensation built in my stomach. "So after my mother died with me, my father got…mad. And drunk. A lot." Gaara's voice was the same as always, if a little rougher. He pressed me firmly against him.

"Thankfully he left me and my siblings alone a lot. With an Uncle. My uncle said he loved us, didn't care what my story was. We were happy when father wasn't around. Pleased with ourselves, and our uncle. It was almost a nice childhood." Gaara contemplated.

I knew his look, I got it too sometimes. People bore a strong hate to the son of a traitor, even when he was alive. I had felt the sickening sting of hateful glares, fear and anger for as long as I can remember. I had been beaten and stung and pelted with rocks, and all that was before my parents died. Things just got worse. Hate escalated. Children glared with heavy animosity, adults looked disgusted or even afraid. This steeled me, and I felt a familiarity with Gaara. Gaara was steeled, weathered, hardened. Gaara was like me, except he was alone longer, he cried harder, he hurt more.

"Then one day my uncle kicked us out. Said we weren't worth his time. Temari and Kankaro left immediately, bags already packed. I didn't understand. I don't understand. Weren't they happy? I didn't want to leave, said I wanted to be loved. He pushed me out the front door just as a Nazi solider strolled up our drive way." Gaara coughed, angered. "and now I'm here." he looked away, furious. "He was a bastard."

We danced for a few seconds in silence as I contemplated what I had been told. I could see it happening in my mind, I could see a heartbroken Gaara clinging to his uncle, his life line. I could see he uncle trying desperately to shake him away, fearful, sad. His siblings already packed, escaping something dreadful.

"Gaara." I said suddenly. A thought that seemed so obvious to me seemed to be missing in Gaara's explanation. "Oi. Gaara?" I repeated, making sure he was paying attention.

"What." he snipped, no question in his voice, just anger.

"Hear me out!" I berated. He scowled, but looked me in the eyes hotly.

"Ever thing he was trying to protect you? From being abducted by the Nazi's?" I said softly. I let it sink in, but he almost immediately dismissed it.

"No. he thought I was a monster too. He lied." Gaara was beyond listening.

"Shush. Listen, listen. Love, I know the way people are, I know the way hate feels. If someone secretly hated you for years, you and I would noticed. We're kind of experts in this area, ne?" I said softly, carefully trying to get him to listen.

"You think he could have fed you and laughed with you and cared for you all that time? If he really hated you? If he thought you were a waste of time, why spend years raising you? Gaara, he wanted to protect you. I think your siblings understood, they were ready. Why else would they be packed? And if-"

"No! No, no." Gaara snapped, but his resolve was slipping. I glanced around briefly. No one was staring at us, even when mad Gaara was barely louder then normal. In fact, he seemed to whisper instead of yell. A harsh cooling whisper, rung with anger and seriousness. He was stubborn, he wouldn't be cowed. "He would have told me! He could have told me! He should have told me!"

Each statement, so similar, meant something different.

Would.

_Disbelief, anger, hatred. It's a lie._

Could.

_Doubt, confusion, questioning. It's not true, right?_

Should.

_Acceptance, sadness, pain. It's true._

_Why?_

I gazed at him sadly. He wouldn't look at me, absorbed in his own confusion and story. A story he was bound to, one he thrived off. What gave me the right to destroy? But I had to, I had to, because all I wanted was someone to destroy my story, fix it. Please, someone tell me anything to make it better.

"Gaara. Would you have left if he told the truth?"

Gaara's eyes snapped up suddenly. He stared into my eyes for a long time. I wondered how many songs had gone by, I didn't recognize the tune playing. You were supposed to clap in-between each song, I wondered if anyone noticed that we had danced through the silent lulls and right into the next tune. Gaara's eyes suddenly filled with tears.

"What made you so strong?" he whispered. He sounded amazed, he sounded like he thought I was a Goddess instead of Godless. "Who gave you such beautiful, wise, all seeing eyes?"

We pressed tighter, and I blushed three different shades. Tomato, strawberry and cherry. Me? Strong? Bullshit. I knew that was bullshit, even if a lady like myself can't say it aloud. I was weak and scared. I needed to be stronger, I needed another layer of armour. My eyes saw nothing more then his did. Mine just saw from a different angle because I sat in the audience and he was on stage.

He was curved against my body, his chin rested in my hair.

"Hmm." I smiled suddenly. "We fit together so perfectly." I observed with a blissful sigh.

"We do." he nodded.

"Believe it."

* * *

I was ready to commit suicide. Perhaps a double suicide, whoever invented heels was definitely coming with me to hell. I would make sure. My feet ached, my legs were sore, I felt itchy all over. My head pounded and my face muscle protested against every fake smile.

These damned Nazi's were so drunk! I'd been fed champagne glass after wine glass after more champagne and wine. I'd watched three woman topple over drunkenly, ass over tea kettle, and I was beginning to think it was some sort of plot the men conducted. I held liquor well, but even I was a tad tipsy. Gaara was pretty drunk, and I made sure he stopped accepting drinks. I had been trying to sober with up with water for the past hour and a half. He was slightly less loose lipped. The dirty little secret behind a drunk Gaara?

He swore. A lot. A lot!

He also mumbled strange things between bouts of swearing. He mumbled how much he wanted me to have a parasol. He rambled about how he now had a thing for people with glasses. He observed that his uncle, 'the dirt fucking bastard' , should have been straight with him instead of, and I quote, 'beating around the dirty, mother fucking, shitty, bush about the whole bitchy, mother fucking, slimy ore-ora-ordeal. Damn.'

Yes. He stuttered.

He constantly slipped into Japanese, and I had to nudge him back to reality. Neji had managed to convince him to teach everyone a Japanese drinking game. Neji looked so amused by the whole thing I could have socked him. How in hell was I supposed to get this mess home? Thankfully the water trick was having it's effect. I whispered that we should head out soon.

"Eh?" Gaara said sloppily. "What the damn are we going home for?"

Ok. That one didn't even make sense. The damn are we going home for??

"Gaara! Dammit! Gesup!" I'm embarrassed to admit I swore and slurred as Gaara collapsed on me. "have you never been drunk befur?" My words were a little worse for wear but at least I could stand.

"No" Gaara admitted. "Fucking hell, never had more than one damned glass be-bea-before."

Gaara didn't slur, he stuttered. It was sort of cute.

"Can't go home in that condition." Came a cool voice.

"Neji?" God, Neji. Why did I feel so relieved? Would he lend a hand to poor unfortunate me?

"Neji means screw in Japanese." Gaara commented.

"Why not stay at my house?" Neji offered, to my great surprise. I couldn't possibly…how kind!

"He has a fucking house." Gaara told me seriously. He also states the obvious when drunk.

"We have a shitty apartment with a busted green door." he told Neji. Neji chuckled, I rolled my eyes.

" I know. I've been, remember?" Neji humoured him.

"I don't remember shit." Gaara was very serious.

"I couldn't possibly impose!" I said softly to Neji, my head ache taking full attack.

"I had a pet bird named Ralph once. My neighbour fucking killed it with a rock." Gaara mimed a sling shot over my shoulder. I hoisted him up a bit as he slipped. Neji took his other arm.

"Feel free, it's just across the road and I was heading back now anyway." Neji shrugged, escorting me and Gaara to the door.

"I can fit my entire mother fucking fist in my mouth." Gaara started shoving his left hand between his lips.

"I have an automobile and driver just outside." Neji prompted, saying all the right things to my poor aching feet.

" I once found a potato shaped like a goddamned frog." Gaara concluded, spitting out his fist.

"It's funny because he says everything in the same monotonous voice." Neji shook his head at Gaara.

"My brother, the bastard, ate it with his damned miso soup." Gaara nodded to me.

"Yeah?" I almost laughed despite myself. He was so monotoned and serious!

"Why are you l-lal-laughing? Sounds like bells." He smiled lazily and then preceded to pass out. Neji and I caught him.

"Guess I have na chous…choice." I clarified. "I'm sorsta drunk too." I slapped my face, and shoved the lifeless Gaara into the primped and sleek black car with Neji's and the drivers' help.

"Srry…" I collapsed into the seat beside him.

What a day.

* * *

Kay, so my weird freaky thing? Next chapter. Honest!

Notes. My Naruto is sooooo OCC isn't he? That makes me sad. He's sort of depressing. Oh well. My Naruto only says 'believe it' when he's convincing someone or himself about something good. You know, fixing someone. Oh, and the expression ass over tea kettle (sounds like ass over tit btw.) is a really old one, I thought it would be appropriate to use. I also used 'I cannot tell a lie.' in my last chapter. that's an old saying thing too. Anyway, weird thing is coming and no ones guessed it…oh wells. Like my drunk gaara? i love him.


	11. Change

_hey, i found some mistakes. Naruto was not alive during world war one but we will pretend he was. i totally forgot about the 20's and moved right to the dirty thirties. the twenties were a great year in the america's. i skipped from 1919 to 1930. so... my bad. the twenties wpuld have been like a depreession in germany, because of the treaty of versaillies, so naruto lived though one big twenty year depression. but that does not work with my stroy. so for my sake, the twenties no longer exsist...can i really do that? i feel so powerful! **BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!**_

_phew. anyways. Happy thanksgiving._

_

* * *

__ **Change**_

_I pressed a new plank of wood against my shack and started to hammer it in place. __'__Home.__'__ the wood proclaimed. I could feel a warm sensation between my toes and the palm of my foot. Soft and smooth but burning hot on the surface and cool below. Somewhere in my mind I registered that this was warm sand. I can__'__t look behind me, but I know what__'__s there. The ocean. I can hear water sounds. The dripping of rain, the flowing trickle of a river, the rushing of a sink or the splash of jumping in a puddle. Which sound was right? I have to finish the house. _

I blinked my eyes open, but snapped them shut immediately. Why the hell was it so bright? My head throbbed unsympathetically, I vaguely wondered why. Was I late for school again? Jiriya will have my ass. Was Sasuke already waiting at the Café? I started to sit up, but I suddenly felt a weight across my chest.

"Eh?" I spun a bit under the weight only to discover that is was an arm. Slightly confused but muggy from sleep I calmly followed the arm back to the source. Red hair. Gaara.

Oh.

I shook away the sudden pain that came with remembering that I was no longer 16 but in my 20's. Sasuke was dead and I was in university. This happened every morning since the first night without _him_. But I felt a small swell of something unusual in my chest. I smiled. I was in love with Gaara. I snuggled closer to him, suddenly extraordinarily content. It was a new feeling to wake up with, not self pity or loneliness. I was _happy_ with Gaara, I loved him. This felt so great, I had forgotten how great it felt to wake up and be in love.

I was embarrassingly giddy. So I giggled. Then my head pounded and I remembered collapsing into Neji's car. I bolted upright.

How stupid! I glanced down and sure enough my wig and dress were gone. I was in my underwear and undershirt. I could almost imagine the comical look on Neji's face as he tried to rationalize my cross dressing. Crap. Why the hell did he decide to undress me anyways? I was a girl! Is he a closet pervert?! My happy feeling faded. I shoved the lovely sentiment of Gaara's arms wrapped around me off and sat very still for awhile on the end of the bed. My mind raced around for a few seconds.

What was I going to do? How was I going to explain this? Would he tell the Nazis? Would I be sentenced to death? Exported? Sent to a 'camp'? What about Gaara?

Then my stomach growled.

"Oh well. Nothing I can do about it now. Might as well get some grub." I shrugged and headed out the door to the kitchen. What's done is done after all.

I must sound terribly half assed or lazy, but seriously, what was I supposed to do? Deny it? After he's seen me almost naked? Yeah, that'll go over well. "No no, I really AM a girl! You just have to squint!"

'Sides, I'm hungry.

I strode into the kitchen with as much nonchalance as I could muster. I pretended that waking up in a boy's body after being a girl yesterday was the most natural thing in the world to me. Yep, totally normal. I grabbed a bun and a piece of fruit off the counter and looked about.

As expected the Hyuuga estate was huge and extravagant. I can tell everything about a building from it's kitchen. And this kitchen was huge and extravagant. Seriously. The ceiling rode much higher then my or Gaara's head. The finery and carvings on the walls and cutlery were beautiful and practically oozed expensiveness. It was a nice change from my slummy ghetto style two-room apartment. I felt like stealing his silverware. Old habits die hard. I took a bite out of the bun and chewed thoughtfully while gazing at the table.

It stood out, because it was more beautiful then anything in the room. It was beautiful to me because it was the exact same one that I had. It was small and round and made of simple wood. There were no carvings or any engravings, and one of the legs was slightly shorter then the others so a thin book was shoved under it.

It only had room for one. It was a lonely man's table.

I sat in the forlorn single chair and thought for a second. Neji had the same table as me, but not because he couldn't afford better, but because it was all he needed.

How long had he lived alone? As long as me? Neji was not the huge and extravagant type of person. Neji was a lonely uneven table type of person. I suddenly felt very attached to him. In some twisted way, we were similar. Gaara, Neji, me, even Sasuke, we were all like. All the broken hearted people.

There was something missing on his table that was on mine though. When I turned 18, I carved something on the top of mine. I was feeling a little alone because the apartment felt to big and empty. No one to say good morning to me. So I thought I'd have my table say it. For the last couple years the words smiled up at me from below my breakfast. 'Good Morning!' they declared in slightly messy text.

If my tiny apartment felt so big and empty, I wonder how Neji's must feel. I got up and pulled the plainest knife out of the drawer. I sat at the table and carved. It wasn't till I finished that I realised I'd just carved words onto someone else's furniture.

"Oops." I mumbled, tossing it back in the drawer and blowing the wood chips of the table. "What's done is done, I guess…" that seemed to be my motto this morning. Why must I be so impulsive? I wandered away from the table and out into the halls. I wonder where Neji is…

"Good morning…Angelina, is it?" a voice called bitterly.

"Good morning Neji!" I said happily. Hopefully, if I pretended all this was normal, he would to. He was a good guy.

"What the hell. Are you a man or a woman? Lord or lady? Solider or nurse? Make a decision." he snapped.

I lifted up my under shirt to reveal my abnormally tanned flat chest.

"Man. You?" I asked playfully, smile still in place. Neji didn't laugh. My hope was quickly dwindling. "Ha….Well, my name is Naruto. We've meant before, haven't we?" I trailed hopefully. Neji wasn't biting.

"Look. Gaara wouldn't have survived a ball without some help. I hated it, but Sakura had a lot of fun." I shrugged as close to honesty as I could get without mentioning my participation in the underground rebellion. Neji sighed suddenly, he wasn't as angry as I thought. He just looked…a little disappointed or betrayed.

"I don't care what your relationship with Gaara is, but the Nazis will, so why don't you do me a favour and we'll forget all this…" Neji shrugged. Blackmail. Ouch. Neji hadn't struck me as a blackmail kind of guy. He was a lopsided table guy. I knew this much at least. Neji was calm, collected. But he was easily irritable and oddly loyal with too much pride to sink to black mailing. I can read people pretty well. Or at least I thought I could.

"Yeah? What do you want? Money? I'm broke! Sex? No way. What could I possibly give you?" I scoffed. Neji frowned.

"Why so angry little boy? All I need is a favour." Neji replied cheekily. Where did this arrogant façade come from?

"Little boy?" I hissed.

"You prefer little girl?" He sounded suitably amused.

So I punched him. Hard. This was not turning out well. I had, in fact, just decided how much I liked Neji. Now he was ruining it. Neji straightened, slightly shocked. A hand hovered above his lip for a second.

"That was stupid of you." He told me, clearly angered.

"Yeah, well." I shrugged concentrating on not hitting him again. What a bastard! Like him? I take it back! He's a jerk. I read him totally wrong.

"I need you to pretend to get married."

There was a long pause, during which I tried to collect myself. Which would sound something like this;

'Ok. Yeah. Sure, why not? That is… And we…Um. What the hell is all this about?'

"Um, er, huh?" I replied intelligently, yeah, that long pause had not helped at all. Neji gazed at me for a long time, a look of disgust flashed on his face, then one of fear. Then he looked away from my face.

"I've got to find Lady Hinata." He said finally.

"What?" I snapped. He wasn't even making any connections between anything he was saying! What did that have to do with my getting married? Whom am I marrying? I mean, why should I marry anyone?!

"It's complicated. Just understand that I'm threatening you. Gaara and you will be married by the Führer himself." Neji exclaimed, exasperated. That was certainly a shock.

"Ok! Stop right there! First off, you will not be _threatening_ me into _anything_! Secondly, in case you forgot, I'm a man! A full grown man. I can't marry Gaara! He's also only 16! Third, I would never let that scum marry me to anyone! Hitler can go to hell!" I breathed heavily. I still didn't understand what was going on. All I knew was that there was no way in hell I was going through with any of this.

"Gaara's only sixteen? But I thought you were 22?" Neji asked, confused.

"That's completely irrelevant!" I snapped, aware I was incriminating myself.

"Pervert." Neji smooth features rumpled.

"Says the man whose never been in love!" I shot back, embarrassed. "Look, climb off your high horse for a second and explain something to me! I don't understand! I just finished deciding that I liked you, despite the Nazi scum that you are! But now you're whipping this crap at me and I don't understand any of it! Who is Lady Hinata anyway? What happened to her? Why does my getting married have anything to do with it? I can't help you if I don't understand you!"

"Shut up!" He back slapped me, his face turning a lucid pale. "You wouldn't understand anyway! How can I like you? I don't even know you! Are you a girl? A boy? What's your name? Are you working for the underground? I can't trust someone like you! I can't trust anyone! That's dangerous! That's stupid!"

I spit some blood onto his perfect clean floor. I hope it stains.

"Full grown man, thank you very much. I don't work for the underground, but I do support them. Sort of. It's complicated. I'm not trying to be anyone's enemy. I'm a pacifist. My name is Naruto Uzumaki, the pleasures all mine." I put my hand out, trying to be civil, well as civil as you can be to someone who's trying to blackmail you. Neji shoved my hand aside.

"The Uzumaki's are dead. Don't lie. A gas leak. I investigated last night, there son was Naruto Uzumaki. He died 15 years ago."

"Gas leak?" I laughed coldly. "Is that what is says in those pretty government documents?"

Neji shifted his weight to his other foot, curiosity on his ghost white features.

"What…what do you mean?" He asked awkwardly.

"If it was just a gas leak, how come they didn't let anyone see the bodies?" I asked, my voice beginning to waver. "My dad was slashed across the throat, my dad was beaten and shot, then he was burned to death. My mother was raped. Repetitively. Then she was thrown into the wall and beaten. She was also burned to death. Want to know who…WHO is responsible? WANT TO KNOW?? Well, look around next time you go to work. Look at all the lovely uniforms and understand why I flinch at the sight."

I was shaking hard. Sakura, Sasuke, Shino, Kiba, Iruka. I'd never told an of them this. All they knew was that I was an orphan who was desperately afraid of soldiers. Even Gaara didn't know the full story. I wasn't sure why I told Neji, but it felt like he really needed to know. I don't hate soldiers. I am so afraid of them it hurts. When I was little, I used to go into hysterics if they came near. Now I just act out against them, but I know the fear is not gone. I'm terrified. I'm so scared, all the time. Gaara was wrong. I'm not strong. I'm so weak.

"How…why should I believe you? How would you know?" Neji demanded, a frightened look in his pale eyes.

"How…how would _I_ know? Because I watched. They tied me up and let me watch. They called it a Christmas gift. Soldiers sang me Christmas carols as it happened. Jingle bells, carol of the bells, Rudolph the red nose reindeer. Do you understand? How could I forget? I was seven. SEVEN!" I clasped a hand over my mouth so that I wouldn't cry out. I hate Christmas. I hate Christmas. I really, really hate Christmas.

"And they let you live? Seems highly unlikely." Neji's voice was cold, calculating, filled with disbelief. But his eyes showed such a frightened shadow that I knew he already believed me. He must have had his own doubts after reading the lovely notes about the convenient gas leak at the traitors house.

"They didn't mean to. See I was next, the pedophiles wanted a turn as well. So they untied me, my dad told me to run and I bolted. I hid under my stairs for three days, drinking rain water that dropped in from the leak in our ceiling." I excluded the part between them untying me and me running. Some stuff will stay private for ever.

"Uzumaki was…was a great man. I can't believe something like that would happen to my teacher. You're lying." Neji said slowly. And I remembered something.

"Oh!" My mouth opened wide. "I know you!"

Neji blinked, 'Obviously' written across his forehead.

"No, I mean, you used to come to my house sometimes. My dad taught you how to fight, I used to try and join you guys. You taught me how to…"I thought back to those days with my dad. I was only 5 or 6. He used to take this little boy, only a few years older then me and he taught him how to fight. I was so jealous. I wanted to learn to! Then one day when I was spying the boy came over and smiled at me. He became like a big brother. He used to play games with me or teach me strange tricks. He taught me how to play football and rugby. It was fun. His eyes were a pale lavender and his name was…

"Neji! You were like a big brother to me. I was what? 5? You were maybe 9 or 10, we used to play all these word games and you taught me how to play cards! I can't believe I forgot! Do you remember?" I was buzzing with excitement.

"You really can't be…that's too cruel." Neji's face was all pinched. He looked so angry and distraught. I was just happy to find him again. "I thought you stole Naru's name. I hated that. I mean, why would I want to believe that story? Uzumaki was a great man, I knew he was disliked, but I didn't know why. Is it my fault?" Neji wouldn't look at me. "Is it cause he spent so much time with the Hyuuga disaster child? I'm sorry. You must hate me."

"What are you talking about? They killed my dad because he refuse to join the military. My dad was a brilliant fighter, but he was pacifist. He caused them a lot of trouble, he leaked information during World War One. They murdered him because of that. Why would it be your fault? Hyuuga disaster child?" Why is that phrase so familiar? Neji was gazing at me with such an intensity I thought I might fall over.

"You really are little Naru? The cute little kid who fell more then he walked?" He asked and I laughed.

"I'm still a klutz. You said I would grow out of it. Liar." he smiled, or something akin to one.

"They sent me to your dad because no body else wanted to teach me anything." his smile faded. "You see, Lady Hinata is my cousin, but also my sister."

"Oh." I was still confused. How is that possible?

"My mother was her mother. But our fathers were brothers. My father was younger by a couple of minutes and was deemed what the Hyuugas' call a branch family. A lesser member, only there to protect the older one. When my father became a young man, he fell in love with my mother, and she lover him back. My uncle was engaged to her before either was born. My uncle was not in love with her. When I was born they found out that I was my father's child. They murdered my father. My Uncle was forced to father Hinata, considered a true heir to the main family. My mother became clinically insane. I'm the cursed Hyuuga child, neither branch nor main. My purpose in life is to join the militia and protect Hinata." Neji looked a little worse for wear. I understood suddenly. All the scornful looks we earned between our two reputations, all the hesitant moments before he placed a hand on my head, like he was not allowed to touch me or anyone. Neji was warped. Like me. Like Gaara. Like Sasuke. Like anyone.

"I hate it. Your dad was right. Fighting is stupid."

Neji huffed. He leaned heavily against a wall. I gazed at him for a very long time.

"Then don't." I said clearly.

"What?"

"Then don't fight. Don't do what you don't want to do."

"I have to."

"No, you don't."

"It's my destiny. I have no choice."

"Bullshit." I snapped. It felt like Neji was dragging my dad through the dirt. If he really believed in my dad, would he be wearing that uniform? "There's no such thing as destiny."

"Yes, there is. My fate lies in this hell hole. You're in one as well, you understand. Our lives are shit, and we had no say in the matter."

"What the hell is that? You just want to blame anything but yourself. If it's fate that I'm in this situation then it's not my fault? Is that what you're saying? You can't change it cause it's fate?" My fists tightened at my sides.

"Once a sheet has been stained, you can't un-stain it." Neji was frustrated. I punched him as hard as I could. He just wasn't listening. Neji smashed against the wall and slid down to the ground.

"What are you trying to do then? Hide it? Cover it up? Pretend it's not there? Trying to wash out the stain is better then crying over it." I accused wildly. "I think it's time you grew up and faced the music. Everyone's life is shit. So shut up with the 'woe is me' crap. Man up. You may have been dropped in this hell hole, but no one said you couldn't try to climb out of it. It takes hard work, sweat, blood, and a little heart ache but if you have the back bone for it, you might end up somewhere nice. And if you're not going to change it for yourself, I will push you into it. Because there is a better life out there somewhere for the both of us, and there is no way I'm going to let you sulk in that pit when you could be else where. Because I like you. And you deserve better." I took a deep breath. I felt the meaning of my words running through me. This was how I would help people. This took strength. I would be strong.

"But fate is a sure thing!" Neji yelled.

"The only sure thing in life is change. Believe it, Neji." I reached down to help him up.

"My fate would have been to die that night 15 years ago Neji. But I'm here now. I'm walking, I'm talking, and my heart's beating. You can't rely on fate or me to get you out of where ever it is you have fallen." Neji gazed at me. "You got two legs and heartbeat, what's stopping you?" I quoted my dad for effect. Neji smiled. Then he laughed.

"You always were one troublesome kid." Neji said softly. "I don't really understand much these days."

"You always were a terrible learner." I replied. "So, let's have breakfast first. Then you can explain the whole marriage thing so we can get Lady Hinata home again, huh?"

"You would…you would help me find Hinata?" He asked.

"If you _ask_, yes. Plus you called her Hinata instead of Lady Hinata. It isn't duty that makes you want to find her." I smiled as he flushed.

"S-she…you know, she is my sister, after all." he looked away. My smile grew, he really did like being a big brother.

Gaara strolled into the room, oblivious to our fiasco.

"I fell asleep again." He said thoughtfully. "My head hurts." I laughed.

"Of course, you idiot! You were so drunk it was embarrassing!" I chimed, hitting his shoulder playfully. "How about you drink some water and see if that helps. My head hurts too, now that you mention it."

Neji watched us, amusement clear in his face.

"Gaara. What's the ocean sound like?" I asked suddenly. My dream was bothering me, I know it was the ocean, but what should it have sounded like? Neji gave me an odd look.

"Sort of a ka-shoosh, ka-shoosh. Hard to describe…" Gaara trailed off thoughtfully. "Why do you ask?"

"I dreamt last night that I was by the ocean. But I don't know what it looks like or sounds like so…" I trailed off pensively. Ka-shoosh?

"Next time you dream it you can listen to my voice saying ka-shoosh then." He said. This would have been lame if he had said it differently, but he said it like he was giving me permission. I laughed happily.

"Oh? What about how it looks?" I complained. "Really, you're no help at all!" I teased. From the corner of my eye I noted an intense look on Neji's face.

"Well…it's blue and, um, big."

"How descriptive. Like the sky, you mean?" I asked.

"Size wise, yes. It seems to stretch on endlessly. But at the same time, no…a deeper blue. More like…your eyes I guess." He stared at my eyes then nodded, agreeing with himself.

"I can't dream my own eyes!" I blushed.

"Then I'll dream about them for you." Gaara nodded, again sounding like he was offering me some kind of prize or gift.

"Ah! Pervert! Don't tease me!" I hit him again, wondering if he knew how cheesy he sounded.

"Are you as hungry as I am?" He asked seriously, ignoring my punch.

"Are you hungry Neji? How about I make us some eggs?" I offered happily. Neji stared at me for a long time.

"Yes, I suppose." he said finally. Then, oddly enough, he laughed.

We all strolled into the kitchen like nothing ever happened. It was lovely.

phew. all done this took forever. sorry. i kept rewriting neji's story but i jsut felt like it needed to be this way, instead of the classic story. btw, im not a neji/hinata fan. just so you know. ok, so my weird thing? Naruto and gaara are gettting married! ha! (makes me laugh!) yeah! By hitler! (lol, omg im bad)see you next chap! btw, hinata is coming soon!!


	12. Where all the Fuzzy Lines Cross

um, hi. my life hit a bit of smuck there for awhile. my papa died and i havn't felt like writing anything...then my aunt died and my nana got sick and life was tough. sorry. anyway, i wrote a chapter for you...but it feels like my writing style has changed a bit. sorry if you don't like it. remeber, i love criticism and feed back....hey, question. where abouts are you guys from? no need to go into to much detail, im not a stalker. but im curious. im Canadian, if you want to know.

* * *

**_Where all the Fuzzy Lines Cross_**

The prominent sound in the kitchen was the stunning sizzle of sausage being cooked. Prominent meaning loudest. The most focused upon sound seemed to be issuing from me. I was humming. Neji and Gaara were utterly flabbergasted and watched me with slightly awed faces. I often hummed and saw no miracle in the act, so I just kept humming. The two pairs of eyes followed me about the kitchen intensely.

"What?" I finally demanded, swivelling to face them.

"You're humming…" Neji said blankly.

" Humming, no matter where, is quite reasonable." I responded curtly.

"What if you're on death row?" Gaara questioned, leaning against the counter casually.

"No matter where." I replied, though said image swirling around in my head was quiet amusing.

"I'd like to see that." Gaara stated pensively.

"I'll remember that next time I'm on death row." I muttered sarcastically. "What is so fascinating about my humming anyway?"

"My uncle used to hum." Gaara answered evenly. I gave him a quick side long glance, stirring the sausages, absently. I hope he remembers what he learned yesterday.

"You just punched me, I just blackmailed you. Now you're making sausage and humming." Neji pointed out. Gaara stared at him.

"You punched him? What is blacko-mail?" Gaara demanded suddenly. I asked him to grab me some plates. I flipped the sausage on carelessly and put the pan in the sink to be washed. Neji could have a servant do that or something. How was I going to explain this all to Gaara?

"Yes I did punch him." I neglected the second question, secretly hoping I could ignore it and it would go away.

"Why?"

"He was being an ass." I responded promptly. Neji scowled, but it seemed to sate Gaara.

"Because he was using dark postage?" Gaara asked, pleasantly oblivious.

"Yes." I laughed. "He was blackmailing me. It means…uh…like threatening?" Gaara's fist clenched and he spun to face Neji.

"You threatened Naruto?" He snapped.

"Ah, no!" I exclaimed. "It's different. Just stop for a second, gosh." I sighed. "See, he's…well. Hmm. It's hard to explain, but we're past all that." I waved it away. Neji and Gaara both looked at me incredulously.

Neji turned to Gaara.

"He's something else, huh?" he half-whispered. Gaara nodded.

"No clue what to do with him." He obliged. "When we first met he was just rambling to me in German which I didn't understand at the time, he just kept talking."

"Sounds about right, really." Neji scratched his cheek. I felt a little annoyed by their apparent kinship born from insulting me. "You know, even when he was a kid he never shut up. It was always 'Ji, Ji, play wiv me! Play wiv me!' he couldn't get the 'Nen' part in there." I flushed. I was five and had a slight speech impediment. So sue me.

"Jeez, don't bring that kind of stuff up around my lover Ji. Too much like a real brother if you ask me." I muttered almost under my breath. Neji laughed but quieted quickly. Gaara looked confused.

"So you guys really are…" Neji trailed.

"Yeah." I almost whispered, "Sorry to spring it on you. I never really had a coming out or anything."

"I still missed the whole thing. How did you…I mean, are you sure?" he whispered. He seemed unable to say the word.

"I'm gay, Neji. I just like men." Firm, is the way to say these things. Neji looked a bit paler than usually. But he's always pale, so who knows?

"I don't know what to think of that." Of course he didn't. How could he? Neji knew what it was like to be discriminated against and to be hated and alone but he had also been raised within the military. Men who liked men? It was just wrong. It went against nature, it wasn't human. Neji couldn't understand what it is to be gay because he isn't. Can someone grasp something so far away?

"That's okay. It'll take time." I squeezed his hand from across the table. Gaara munched silently on his sandwich, gazing out the window. He seemed to believe that we were is some sort of private conversation and he shouldn't be listening.

Time. Everything comes down to time now. How much Time left in the war? How much time do I have before the government catches up with me? How much time do I have with Gaara? How much time do I have left?

But this morning, time passed slowly and happily. Neji and I told Gaara our story and Gaara and I told Neji our story and I told Neji a little bit of my story and Neji told me a little bit of his story until we were all storied out and breakfast was done and lunch was fast arriving. It was then that I realized I would have to take Neji to meet Sakura, Shino, Kiba and the underground. Cause Neji needed to find Hinata and I couldn't think of anything as connected as the rebellion. _They had ways._

I did not tell Neji I was in the resistance but I think he understood well enough because he changed out of his uniform before we left. I'd never seen his in regular clothing before, well, since we were kids. He looked good. Suave, really. He looked like an elegant businessman, clean, mature and a little bit rough but pretty. Handsome, but pretty, with his long strips of silk hair pulled into a droopy pony tail. Gaara pulled on a white shirt and his dress pants, and in my biased opinion, looked much better than Neji. Sexy and disheveled, that's how I like my men. Pretty is nice but it's no Gaara. Now that I think about it, Sasuke was pretty. Feminine but strong. Like Neji. That hurts.

Pushing that ugly thought aside, I had to borrow some of Neji's clothing. I looked ridiculously small, with belts and sleeves and pant legs all pulled up in neat bunches by my wrists and ankles. A child in his father's clothing. I scowled but brightened significantly when Gaara went red and told me I looked right adorable. Adorable is not exactly what I want to be, I want to be smolderingly sexy, but Gaara looked rather pleased so I went with it.

When I came into Burly, with two uninformed Nazi soldiers at my sides, the place was empty except for Kiba who was scrubbing away at the big glass mantle piece. He didn't turn to look at me.

"Hey, Kibs (A/N: pronounced Keebs) Sakura making you clean?" I called, laughing.

"Naruto!" he spun around and leapt on me. "We thought you'd been cauuuu-eh?" the end of his elongated word became a question mark as he saw Neji.

"What's-" He began but I shook my head.

"Are Shino, Sakura and Iruka here? This is important." They usually were, so this was not a weird thing to ask, but to Kiba it must have meant something bad. He disappeared to find them, a grave set to his cheeks.

The three of us sat carefully on the stools. I wondered how I was going to get through all this. It had to be done cautiously. I had to ease Neji into knowing about the rebellions and the rebels had to be eased into Neji and his whole Naziness thing. So this is where all the fuzzy lines cross. I gazed at Gaara. Gaara gazed back. He seemed to understand something in the way my eyes were sitting because he whispered in Japanese.

"It'll be okay."

I smiled back, but I still felt itchy everywhere when everyone came in and sat awkwardly around me.

"So guys, this is Neji. He, uh, was like a brother to me back when I lived with my parents." that statement caused a bit of an uproar. Sakura leapt to her feet and Iruka did the opposite, and fell from his stool to hit the floor.

"You had parents?" Kiba exclaimed and I suddenly remembered that these people really did know nothing about my past. Oo, how _mysterious_ of me.

"Yes, Kiba. I do, I mean, I did. They were great people, before they died, I mean. My dad was an ex-army general, my mum was a French diplomat. We lived quiet well, but, uh, well some things happened and I ended up on the street with Iruka. That doesn't matter, what matters right now is-"

"Of course it matters!" Iruka snapped, finally picking himself off the floor. "How come you never told me any of this before? I raised you! I deserve an explanation!"

And he did. Everyone did. I spent too long hiding from, and in, my past. I was trapped within it, yet hiding from it. These were my closest and dearest friends, my family, and they knew nothing. They had saved me, the least I could do was explain. But how? Where do I start?

"Yes. I…this is hard." they all looked at me so intensely and curiously. This question had been burning in them for so long and they never asked, because they're polite, kind people. Sakura was trembling. "I lived well, you see. We were pretty rich and my dad was a great Army general, but a traitor in the eyes of the Government. He refused to fight after he met my mother. He became a pacifist. He was respected by many for the great things he did and the lives he saved in the War to End All Wars so the government couldn't do anything official about it. He trained young soldiers for awhile, including Neji. But when they found out he was leaking information to the English in hopes to prevent this second war, this massacre and oppression that was surely coming under the Nazi regime, they decided that enough was enough. My-my father was murdered, quite brutally while-while I watched. Maman as well. And the Gestapo went after me and…I got beaten pretty badly but I escaped. That's how I came to be living on the streets, a year later Iruka found me and you know the story from there."

Sakura rushed to hug me, which was nice. Shino reached slowly across the table to squeeze my fingers awkwardly and Kiba looked angry. Iruka cried, which was strange.

"I always wondered why you used to go into hysterics when soldiers came near." Iruka said, taking his turn to hug me when Sakura let go. I felt very loved, here in this circle of friends, of family.

"Those bastards…" Kiba turned to the wall, his body trembling in anger.

"Thanks guys. You mean the world to me. You're all I've got, after all. But Neji needs our help, and I think, if we do this right, he can help us." I turned to face Neji slowly. This was the hardest part.

"Neji, this is the underground rebellion. You can do one of two things. You can turn us in and probably never see Hinata or you can join us and fight the evil and death you hate and gain a link to the down town scene where everybody knows everybody. We can find her. I promise."

"Like I have a choice."

* * *


	13. In a Straight Man's Closet

Im on a role. i seem to have lost some reveiwers though. srry guys. i did take for ever to update. i deserve forgiveness though! two within weeks! Je desole!

Oh, happy Rememberence day.

on the 11 hour of the 11 day of the 11 month, we remember.

it fits this chapter, i suppose. (BTW, in america it's called Veterans day, a day to mourn for those lost and give thanks for todays freedom. )

* * *

_In Flanders fields the poppies blow  
Between the crosses, row on row,  
That mark our place; and in the sky  
The larks, still bravely singing, fly  
Scarce heard amid the guns below._

_We are the Dead. Short days ago  
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,  
Loved, and were loved, and now we lie  
In Flanders Fields._

_Take up our quarrel with the foe:  
To you from failing hands we throw  
The torch; be yours to hold it high.  
If ye break faith with us who die  
We shall not sleep, though poppies grow  
In Flanders Fields._

- John McCrae

In the Closet of a Straight Man

So we sat and talked everything out. Top to bottom. Neji's original plan needed a bit of work. Kiba and him were both very military oriented and, to my surprise, so was Gaara. Between the three of them a solid plan emerged. Sakura, Shino, Iruka and I all had bit parts, all of us very willing. Well. Except for the whole me getting married thing. Also, quite a bit of the plot relied on luck, something I had been known to have very little of. In fact, Gaara was the only one involved who had any luck at all.

Here's how the whole thing went. Both my alter feminine ego and I were to show up often at the Beehive (the nick name we had given to the Nazi headquarters). Eventually an engagement between me and Gaara, whose undercover name is Hans Hulme, will be announced. The marriage is necessary in a sort-of kind of way.

See, Neji has been looking for his sister/cousin for a long while and his higher-ups have grown tired of wasted military time and money. He begs for more time, but is refused. Recently, the Furher has been antsy for some sort of public scheme, preferably something that represents his _values._ Like, say, a marriage between a Nazi German soldier and an _**Aryan **_girl. Neji's general has promised him more men and time if he can some how come up with an occasion to please the evil sonuvabitch. . .I mean, Furher. That's where I come in. More men means an easier time finding Hinata. In return, Neji gives us and 'in'. Kiba wants documents. He wants to know where they're keeping Jews, gypsies and gays. He wants to know what happens to them, lists of still missing Jews. Anything, really.

The planning was vague to me and I quickly lost interest in it. I was so tired. I could here what they were saying, but it felt so far away to me. Like I was underwater. When the talk became to military for me I drifted away. To my surprise, Sakura gripped my hand and pulled me slowly up to her room, stairs and wars falling away beneath us. Sakura lives next door to the café, but the balcony of Kiba's room kisses her own balcony, so we never go the long way. We climb from balcony to balcony, like chimney sweeps, dangling over streets. The underwater feeling continued, and I looked about her room in a wishy-washy sort of way. Her room had always been the same. Simple furniture, walls with a calm pink, an elegant mirror, large wardrobe. Calm, but beautiful. I collapsed onto her small, respectable bed, and rolled over.

Above the bed it said Eleanor. She was pretending to be Eleanor. Kakashi, our old friend and teacher owned Burly café downstairs and Eleanor and Murphy were registered as his nice German children, instead of Kiba and Sakura, Jewish cousins. It was how they stayed safe in these awful times. How long could this game continue?

"We got really worried about you," She hummed softly. I nodded. Sakura felt good to me. Clean, motherly. I could see why she was so popular. Even in these times of anti-Judaism, boys fell over each other to watch her walk by (though they'd never admit it). I'm not even jealous. Well, maybe a little. She began folding her freshly washed clothing. "Kiba worked himself into a little panic. Shino almost couldn't breathe. I was the only sane one here. I won't even begin to explain Iruka." I gazed at the Star of David hung around her neck, elegant, like she was.

"Sakura." I said. "It's not safe for you anymore."

"Total mother hen mode," she continued, ignoring me. "I half expected him to start squawking. But how was the dance?"

"Sakura. You've got to go into hiding." I pushed. She was pretending it away so fiercely. Folding it neatly and storing it in her large wardrobe, like linen.

"I do hope Gaara knew how to dance. I didn't think of it till after you left, but do they waltz in Japan?"

"Sakura, please," I whispered. "You can stay with me, I'll hide you-"

"Remember dancing when we were young? Like dreams, those street parties! I do miss them. Parties are so uptight these days!" She twirled about, dreaming of parties, dreaming away wars.

"SAKURA!" I yelled, feeling tears burn my eyes. She stopped and turned to face me slowly, arms held out in her fading pretend. "You can't stay at Burly anymore. It's time to hide. You can't be Eleanor forever."

She slowly sat down beside me, causing a depression in the cushions she built around herself. She stared at the wall.

"Is it really that time?" her voice sounded hollow, not scarred or teary like I thought it'd be.

"Please. I love you. I just want you to be safe." I reached for her, my tired body aching. She grasped my hand and squeezed.

"There's one other family left in our group that Kiba and I have to hide first. Then, I promise, I'll hide." Kiba and her hid families that had originally hid in a church. They had hidden so many families and so many had been caught, but enough remained safe. Enough for them to keep trying. One more family.

"Well, hurry," I urged softly.

"Naurto, there's three of them. Three is hard, one or two is easy to hide. Three's a little harder and they're so young, we can't separate them."

"I'll take them. My attics very large. It used to be a small apartment till the one wall collapsed and sealed it all up. I'll take all five of you. It'll be crowded, but safe."

"We'll talk about it when you wake up," She pat my head soothingly. I struggled to stay awake.

"No, Sakura, listen…" I could feel myself slipping away from her and I tried to drag myself back, but it was like plowing through a muddy river. I could feel the water dragging me away, farther and farther from Sakura. Till suddenly she was gone, and it was very frightening.

I dreamt startling little dreams about a fish and an ocean and lightening storms. I was flying, I think, and there were stone walls and teeth and a nightingale, a solider covered in tar, and crows. I can't place all the things I saw or how I saw them, but they worried me. I awoke with a start some time later to find Gaara had curled into the bed beside me. I found this confusing, as I was still in Sakura's bed. Then again, he couldn't fall asleep without me.

I gazed down at him thoughtfully. Chasing. I had been chasing, flying after Gaara, but he kept slipping away between my fingers, falling away. I touched his face gently, so as not to wake him. Gaara was a solider. Soldiers die. I knew that much.

What if they _did_ ship Gaara off to fight. What if the British, or the Americans, or Canadians killed him? What then?

But then, the enemy had family too. Little British children with red faces and American wives with stunning beauty or Canadian mothers, plump and round. Maybe a solider had a male lover. A man sitting quietly at home, dreaming of chasing and never catching. Frightened.

I knew this yet, if Gaara were shipped off, I would prefer they died instead. Let their mothers and lovers suffer, and let my Gaara live on. What a selfish wish. And yet, to wish life on Gaara could only be considered goodness. He was so pure and brilliant in his soft way.

To be a soldier, to fight amongst death. These men were brave, much braver than me. All of them. Yet what are they fighting about? About Jews? About land? The treaty of Versailles? So many lay dead beneath the poppies, so many dead beneath the feet of oppression. If I could bring them back, if I could sit with them, breathe with them, ask them if they thought it was worth it to die that day, what would they say? These nameless souls lost forever, blank graves in a field somewhere with only a helmet to mark where great men once stood. Nameless soldiers, who fought with pride, with will, with power and bravery and force, are now nothing but questions in history. Already they fade into the background of yesterday. How can we forget them so easily? The dead are screaming at me.

I pushed away from Gaara, away from the bed. Running away, like I always do. I fled to the window and fell across the balcony like a drunken dreamer. I climbed onto Kiba's determined to convince him to let me hide everyone. It was time to hide. They had been brave enough. I banged on the window.

To my surprise there was a lot of clattering and a thump and voices. Worried, I reached again for the window, attempting to peer through the thick gauze of curtain. Kiba flung the window open, almost a whole minute later.

"Wha-what?" He breathed heavily at me. I raised an eyebrow.

"What were you doing in there?" I asked, climbing into his room and landing with a plop on his bed.

"N-nothing. Nice to see your awake, finally. Where's lover boy?" he pushed away from my question fiercely, so I let it go, curiosity bubbling in my mind.

"Sleeping. What did you think of Neji?" I asked to break the ice. "Did you work out the arrangement about Hinata? I bet Sai could find her easily. He's very connected."

Kiba's expression became serious. "I'm not going to ask Sai. Do you really think it's fair to force her back? She's finally free, the way it sounds. I'm not in the business of forcing and kidnapping."

This startled me. I hadn't thought about that. But, Neji just wanted to know if she was okay, if she was safe. He wouldn't, couldn't hurt her. He loved her. I know he does.

"But, he's so worried for her. He's her big brother. How would you feel if Sakura disappeared?"

"That's different." he huffed. Blowing air at his own bangs. "Let's talk about something else." he added forcefully. The conversation wasn't over, but for now I pushed onto the more important things. I let it go.

"Fine, I want to talk to you about something important anyway." I turned to face him, but he was looking away from me, towards his closet, then something on the floor. Peering at it, I noticed a small silver ring with KH engraved meticulously on it. (A/N: Kingdom hearts? Joking!) I bent to pick it up, but he snatched from me almost immediate and stuffed it into his chest pocket.

"Can it wait?" he rushed, "I've got something important to do today." his hand stayed on the pocket as he spoke.

"What's with the ring, Kiba?" I asked, unable to contain myself.

"Please, it's nothing." He hissed, almost desperately. I was conflicted for a moment. But more confused. A ring generally meant one thing, but Kiba had no girl in his life. How could he? Yet, here he stood, flustered, embarrassed, holding a ring and staring at his closet. For a fleeting moment I thought it would be best if I left. Let him do what ever it is her had to do. But I couldn't.

I felt betrayed.

If he really did have a girl hidden in his closet, he had been lying to me for a very long time. It was more likely that I was imagining all this. It only made sense that I was. I think. Why would he hide this from me? Was he ashamed of me? Of who I was? Was he lying to her about who he was? Maybe no one was in the closet. Maybe I was making a big deal out of nothing. The ring could be Kiba's mother's ring. Her maiden name was Karin Haruna, was it not?

Oh. It must be his mother's. How could I have though otherwise?

I flung the closet door open to prove I was being ridiculous.

Behind it stood a girl, with bright pink cheeks, pale skin and short blue-black hair and painfully familiar, pale, lavender eyes.

"H-H-hi," she stuttered.

* * *

A/N: soooo...that's what straight men keep in their closets? jokes. next coming soonnn:) i love reveiws. they are substance! i require substance!

oh, and a pox on the culprit who dented my flute! if you're out there....


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